Quite a hectic couple of months since my last post.
I started back at Macy's as a signer for the Men's Department just about a week after my last post. I wasn't all too thrilled about getting back into the retail race, especially just in time for the holidays. But I needed a job, and it was the quickest way back to work, and pretty much the only one is who called me for an interview. Instead of being at Brea, this time I'm closer to home at the Stonewood Mall in Downey. Surprisingly, it's the highest volume store in its L.A. district which includes Cerritos, Lakewood, Montebello and West Covina. The staff are great, the product is a little less broad in variety than I was used to at Brea, and the shopper demographic are a little more annoying (haha). There's also no Starbucks close enough to have enough time for a break. But overall, it's not so bad. Management is more organized here, and the bottom line right now is the close proximity. I guess I just got a little spoiled working up in the hills of North Orange County ;-)
I also ended up enrolling in online classes at Ashford University. I got quickly discouraged about Cerritos when I couldn't even get enrolled into ONE class. Everything was closed, even wait lists. I know what it is--returning students were just filling up their schedules with anything and everything, and once school started they figured out what classes were gonna work for them and simply dropped everything else they didn't need after all. So annoying. And inconsiderate. Maybe I jumped the gun, I suppose I could've waited until mid-semester to see if anythng opened up. Or at the very least, just wait until spring. But Ashford seemed more convenient since I'll be going at my own pace on my free time. Given my work schedule, Austin's and Louis's school schedules, it made sense for me to just stay home and study. I know it's gonna be another debt, but hopefully this time around I can actually make something of my degree. So far everything is going pretty good. The classes are a bit intense because they're all done five weeks at a time instead of taking 3 or 4 per semester. But I'm gonna do my best to keep truckin through. There's a possibility I can get the degree within 3 years, and I fully intend to look into internships once the time is right.
I'm on my second course now, English Comp II, as I got credit for completing English Comp I at Cerritos. It's a little tough because a research paper is required for about 25% of the grade, and we're working on pieces at a time each week. Normally I wouldn't have a problem with research papers. But I'm pretty much on my own for the most part looking after Austin right now, so my free time is limited. A couple of weeks ago, we got word that my father-in-law fell and broke his hip. He needed surgery, but until the decision was made for that, things were touch and go due to his delicate condition with Parkinson's Disease. Eventually the surgery was done and successful. During recovery, he seemed to be doing well. So Louis was struggling with the decision on whether or not to leave for Iowa, and if so for how long. But then the next thing we knew, his dad took a turn for the worse. He was unable to swallow any food, and up until that point was only getting by on an IV. The Parkinson's locked up all of his muscles, including the ones in his throat which caused the inability to swallow. So he was placed in a hospice last Monday, October 1. Louis flew out the following Wednesday night, made it to Mason City by 10am Thursday. At about 1pm our time here, he called to tell me that his father had passed away.
I was speechless, much like I had been the previous week in hearing all of the updates. I suppose I was holding out hope that he'd pull through again. Like early last summer when he had a heart attack. The doctors, and even he himself, didn't think he was gonna make it. That's why we started trying to make plans to visit him, even if it meant a last minute flight arrangement at a high cost. Dee and Butch (Louis's dad) were willing to pay for the trip. But then he recovered, and said he wanted us to delay the trip so that he could get through the multiple follow up appointments. And that's how we ended up going last September, the week of Louis's 34th birthday. It was a nice visit, we had a great time relaxing, and even wound up visiting Clear Lake to see the Surf Ballroom and airplane crash site where Ritchie Valens, Buddy Holly and The Big Bopper died. Austin really bonded with his grandparents, and even got to meet and spend time with his stepcousins, Dee's grandson's Brandon and Jayden. So this time around, as bad as the situation sounded, I held out a little hope that is dad would pull through. Unfortunately, it wasn't so. Louis thinks his dad just gave up and was tired. I can see that. I also see that his dad hung on until Louis got there. He had Jeremy there, but was asking for Louis naturally. And I'm so glad he made it to see his father, even if only for a few hours. It was Thursday, October 4. He was placed at rest with full military honors on Saturday, October 6.
Now it's Friday, a week later. Louis comes home on Monday, and everything should be back to normal. Austin hasn't had a rough time without his dad here. If and when he has asked, we've simply told him that daddy is working. He's doing just fine, and if anything, we're having some nice mommy and son time. I had to request half day schedules at work and for extensions on my second week assignments in class, but everything has worked out smoothly. We'll all have some family time next week, as I know Louis will need it.
I'm going to do my best to make this a little more interesting as time allots and moves forward. In the meantime, I hope everyone is enjoying the start of this wonderful season. {{hugs}}
Friday, October 12, 2012
Friday, August 31, 2012
Cruel Summer
I always used to love summers. The beach, barbecues, baseball games, and of course my birthday lands at the early start of summer (those all started with 'B', how cute). In a sense, I still do love summer. But sadly this past summer of 2012 is one that was pretty much a let down.
It started out promising. My birthday was celebrated chill at home with friends, which was great. At the end of the month I was able to visit with my dear sistercousin Bella, if only even for a day and a half. But I was a bit worried that the rest of my summer plans would be thwarted because I really didn't have much money. After losing my job in February at Macy's in Brea, I immediately filed for unemployment. They managed to pull a fast one on me and deny me benefits. The official reason was "due to misconduct"--that sounds like I got into a fight at work or something crazy! No such thing, I was naturally offended and took it to the Unemployment Insurance Board. Forgive me if I'm repeating this from my first blog, but the judge was pretty harsh and shot me down. He said I could've taken more action to save my job if I really cared about it, like moving closer to Brea or requesting a transfer to a store closer to where I currently live. Yeah, right in the middle of the holiday rush, that's a good one man. My former HR rep even stood up for me, in a sense, by stating that Macy's implements a hiring freeze during the holiday season doesn't fire employees unless they are caught stealing. So a transfer is out of the question, number one. Secondly, how the hell does that guy expect that I can afford to move to BREA in the middle of a holiday season on less than $10 an hour?! I have never felt so humiliated while sitting in that hearing room. He made me feel like shit, and I just wanted to scream at him. After he made his decision, I filed a second appeal which was done in writing because they don't require another hearing in person. I spent the first half of summer waiting for that decision, only to be shot down once again. W*T*F I think since the state is in such a debt crisis, they just found a way to get out of paying another unemployment check. I had the opportunity to take it to Superior Court, but that would mean getting legal aid and more time waiting.. I was just spent and figured by the time anything happened, I'd probably be working again. Sometimes I still sit here and think that maybe I should have just to prove a point.
Mid-July came rolling in, and there was a chance for a getaway from all the b.s. Louis, Austin and I jetted to Las Vegas for a belated birthday celebration for myself. As it turned out, WWE was in town for Monday Night Raw also right there at Mandalay Bay where we were staying. The show was a lot of fun, and then we capped off the night with dinner at Hussong's Cantina inside Mandalay Place. It was our first time eating there, but definitely not the last. House made tortilla chips are to die for! Paired with the tableside guacamole makes it heaven. Service with a smile, rockin atmosphere, what more could I ask for. Just as we're ready to pay the bill and head back to our room, I reach inside my purse and realize that my wallet was gone. I freaked. Not only was all of the cash and ATM card we had pulled for our trip in there, but I also ended up putting my duplicate of Louis' ATM and his credit card in there as well. The last I know it was in my hand was back at the Mandalay Events Center after getting up to get us some drinks. I had only taken my wallet with me for convenience, which to some is probably not the best idea, but it was a habit I'd gotten into and never suffered consequences. Well just my luck, this time after re-tracing my steps and calling security, I realized I must not have put it back in my purse properly after getting back to my seat. I was distracted by trying to get Austin to eat a snack I had bought for him and opening his bottled water. So the wallet likely slipped from seat down to the ground, and with all of the excitement of the show, I never checked to make sure everything was back in my purse.
So it turned out that Lost and Found was closed for the evening, and security said that if an employee finds it they will turn it in immediately to Lost and Found and that I can check with them as soon as they open the next morning at 9am. I guess Louis and I were hoping against all hope that someone did pick it up, so we just didn't call our banks immediately to report the cards lost. Stupid, stupid, I know. He said we can just wait it out because if we call and shut everything down and end up getting the wallet returned, we'll have to call the banks back and get everything reversed. Which I'm sure wouldn't have been that much of an inconvenience. I don't know why I listen to him sometimes.. Anyway, that mistake cost us dearly because by the time we headed out the next morning to start making waves, we realized our cards had been used and were nearly wiped out. It was nearly noon, and we were standing in the middle of the MGM Grand at the Monorail Station trying to get tickets to head over to Western Union at Bally's casino because my parents had wired us money. I just lost it and broke down crying. I felt so stupid, never had anything this bad happen to me. We still had a small amount of cash that Louis was carrying, so while we did manage to have enough to feed Austin breakfast, I knew he was getting tired and frustrated from all of the running around. I tried not to cry in front of him, but I couldn't help it. Being the sweetheart that he is, Austin held my hand and started saying, "Don't cry mommy, it's okay.." All I could do was hug him tight and just move on from there. Since we didn't have money to get on the Monorail, we knew we were just gonna have to tough it out and walk down to Bally's.
After all of the chaos, we managed to get the wired money and a little bit more for safety from my father-in-law as well. I felt horrible for having to ask our parents for help, but we had no other choice. And I thank them dearly for it of course. Despite all of that, we actually managed to secure vouchers for Sigfried and Roy's Secret Garden, Shark Reef at Mandalay Bay, and a $50 voucher for Buca di Beppo. Before all of the shit went down, we went to one of those timeshare presentations on Monday afternoon and the vouchers were our reward. So we were at least able to entertain Austin with all of that. I was feeling a little better by our last day there the next day, but knew that the next time I return to Vegas, I'm going to have a lot more cash saved up and a freakin wallet chain hooked to my ass.
Because of this emergency cash problem, my parents and the rest of us were unable to make a trip up north to Hollister to visit family the following weekend, as my parents were invited to my dad's cousin's 50th wedding anniversary. But they did manage to still make their vacation to Vegas as planned the week after that. It was back to the daily for Louis and I. We were going through the process of getting Austin signed up for preschool, and I kept shuttling out job applications. Every chance we tried to make a trip to the beach just fell through because of other family situations. By early August, as most of you close by know, there was a ridiculous heatwave hitting So Cal. Granted, we've all been through it before. But it makes it real hard to do anything with a small child outdoors, and this house needs windows open and fans blasted everywhere because there's no air-conditioning (except for the window unit in my bedroom). Shortage on money meant little chances to do much entertaining as well. Even though Louis wasn't getting called to work much throughout the summer, we managed to scrape up some cash for a visit to Disneyland a few weeks ago when Louis' cousin was in town. That's one thing we can always rely on at least. We'll never have to pay for a Disneyland ticket thanks to my dad, all we need is spending money. And when she can, my mother does take us out so we can entertain or shop for Austin. So not all is completely lost.
With all of the bad luck and the sick heat, I just wanted the summer to be over. I felt like I desperately needed a do-over, so Fall will be my chance, I hope. I love Autumn next to the Summer just as much. And I never really felt the need to complain about chilly weather or rain. It can be pretty gorgeous at times. Anyhow, I was glad to spend the time with friends and family when I did. Austin was delighted to be joining the Little Lambs nursery school at our church and go to his preschool orientation, as a highlight to a season which I'm sure he still enjoyed because his carefree little self is just being the child he deserves to be--unaware of grown-ups problems.
So let's just fuggedaboutit, keep calm and carry on. Bring on the sweaters and jeans, pumpkin and spice, football, and definitely the salted caramel mocha frappucinos. Mama's just been re-hired by Macy's at Stonewood Center in Downey. Hello 20% discount for Christmas shopping! Austin starts preschool on Tuesday. Bless his little heart, I know he's so excited and that it's going to be a wonderful change in his life. Louis is back in school, so that means the return of his VA school benefits added to his ongoing disability benefits, which are of great help each month when he doesn't get much work shifts. We've learned from hard lessons, and are on the way to making up for the summer that went bust. Not returning to Vegas until late March or early April to celebrate either my dad's 63rd birthday, or his and my mom's 36th wedding anniversary. We wanna go big time, so if you wanna get on the gravy train, hit me up ;-)
Enjoy your Labor Day weekend everyone. Be safe and be well. And let's hope this stickiest of the icky heat leaves us real soon.
It started out promising. My birthday was celebrated chill at home with friends, which was great. At the end of the month I was able to visit with my dear sistercousin Bella, if only even for a day and a half. But I was a bit worried that the rest of my summer plans would be thwarted because I really didn't have much money. After losing my job in February at Macy's in Brea, I immediately filed for unemployment. They managed to pull a fast one on me and deny me benefits. The official reason was "due to misconduct"--that sounds like I got into a fight at work or something crazy! No such thing, I was naturally offended and took it to the Unemployment Insurance Board. Forgive me if I'm repeating this from my first blog, but the judge was pretty harsh and shot me down. He said I could've taken more action to save my job if I really cared about it, like moving closer to Brea or requesting a transfer to a store closer to where I currently live. Yeah, right in the middle of the holiday rush, that's a good one man. My former HR rep even stood up for me, in a sense, by stating that Macy's implements a hiring freeze during the holiday season doesn't fire employees unless they are caught stealing. So a transfer is out of the question, number one. Secondly, how the hell does that guy expect that I can afford to move to BREA in the middle of a holiday season on less than $10 an hour?! I have never felt so humiliated while sitting in that hearing room. He made me feel like shit, and I just wanted to scream at him. After he made his decision, I filed a second appeal which was done in writing because they don't require another hearing in person. I spent the first half of summer waiting for that decision, only to be shot down once again. W*T*F I think since the state is in such a debt crisis, they just found a way to get out of paying another unemployment check. I had the opportunity to take it to Superior Court, but that would mean getting legal aid and more time waiting.. I was just spent and figured by the time anything happened, I'd probably be working again. Sometimes I still sit here and think that maybe I should have just to prove a point.
Mid-July came rolling in, and there was a chance for a getaway from all the b.s. Louis, Austin and I jetted to Las Vegas for a belated birthday celebration for myself. As it turned out, WWE was in town for Monday Night Raw also right there at Mandalay Bay where we were staying. The show was a lot of fun, and then we capped off the night with dinner at Hussong's Cantina inside Mandalay Place. It was our first time eating there, but definitely not the last. House made tortilla chips are to die for! Paired with the tableside guacamole makes it heaven. Service with a smile, rockin atmosphere, what more could I ask for. Just as we're ready to pay the bill and head back to our room, I reach inside my purse and realize that my wallet was gone. I freaked. Not only was all of the cash and ATM card we had pulled for our trip in there, but I also ended up putting my duplicate of Louis' ATM and his credit card in there as well. The last I know it was in my hand was back at the Mandalay Events Center after getting up to get us some drinks. I had only taken my wallet with me for convenience, which to some is probably not the best idea, but it was a habit I'd gotten into and never suffered consequences. Well just my luck, this time after re-tracing my steps and calling security, I realized I must not have put it back in my purse properly after getting back to my seat. I was distracted by trying to get Austin to eat a snack I had bought for him and opening his bottled water. So the wallet likely slipped from seat down to the ground, and with all of the excitement of the show, I never checked to make sure everything was back in my purse.
So it turned out that Lost and Found was closed for the evening, and security said that if an employee finds it they will turn it in immediately to Lost and Found and that I can check with them as soon as they open the next morning at 9am. I guess Louis and I were hoping against all hope that someone did pick it up, so we just didn't call our banks immediately to report the cards lost. Stupid, stupid, I know. He said we can just wait it out because if we call and shut everything down and end up getting the wallet returned, we'll have to call the banks back and get everything reversed. Which I'm sure wouldn't have been that much of an inconvenience. I don't know why I listen to him sometimes.. Anyway, that mistake cost us dearly because by the time we headed out the next morning to start making waves, we realized our cards had been used and were nearly wiped out. It was nearly noon, and we were standing in the middle of the MGM Grand at the Monorail Station trying to get tickets to head over to Western Union at Bally's casino because my parents had wired us money. I just lost it and broke down crying. I felt so stupid, never had anything this bad happen to me. We still had a small amount of cash that Louis was carrying, so while we did manage to have enough to feed Austin breakfast, I knew he was getting tired and frustrated from all of the running around. I tried not to cry in front of him, but I couldn't help it. Being the sweetheart that he is, Austin held my hand and started saying, "Don't cry mommy, it's okay.." All I could do was hug him tight and just move on from there. Since we didn't have money to get on the Monorail, we knew we were just gonna have to tough it out and walk down to Bally's.
After all of the chaos, we managed to get the wired money and a little bit more for safety from my father-in-law as well. I felt horrible for having to ask our parents for help, but we had no other choice. And I thank them dearly for it of course. Despite all of that, we actually managed to secure vouchers for Sigfried and Roy's Secret Garden, Shark Reef at Mandalay Bay, and a $50 voucher for Buca di Beppo. Before all of the shit went down, we went to one of those timeshare presentations on Monday afternoon and the vouchers were our reward. So we were at least able to entertain Austin with all of that. I was feeling a little better by our last day there the next day, but knew that the next time I return to Vegas, I'm going to have a lot more cash saved up and a freakin wallet chain hooked to my ass.
Because of this emergency cash problem, my parents and the rest of us were unable to make a trip up north to Hollister to visit family the following weekend, as my parents were invited to my dad's cousin's 50th wedding anniversary. But they did manage to still make their vacation to Vegas as planned the week after that. It was back to the daily for Louis and I. We were going through the process of getting Austin signed up for preschool, and I kept shuttling out job applications. Every chance we tried to make a trip to the beach just fell through because of other family situations. By early August, as most of you close by know, there was a ridiculous heatwave hitting So Cal. Granted, we've all been through it before. But it makes it real hard to do anything with a small child outdoors, and this house needs windows open and fans blasted everywhere because there's no air-conditioning (except for the window unit in my bedroom). Shortage on money meant little chances to do much entertaining as well. Even though Louis wasn't getting called to work much throughout the summer, we managed to scrape up some cash for a visit to Disneyland a few weeks ago when Louis' cousin was in town. That's one thing we can always rely on at least. We'll never have to pay for a Disneyland ticket thanks to my dad, all we need is spending money. And when she can, my mother does take us out so we can entertain or shop for Austin. So not all is completely lost.
With all of the bad luck and the sick heat, I just wanted the summer to be over. I felt like I desperately needed a do-over, so Fall will be my chance, I hope. I love Autumn next to the Summer just as much. And I never really felt the need to complain about chilly weather or rain. It can be pretty gorgeous at times. Anyhow, I was glad to spend the time with friends and family when I did. Austin was delighted to be joining the Little Lambs nursery school at our church and go to his preschool orientation, as a highlight to a season which I'm sure he still enjoyed because his carefree little self is just being the child he deserves to be--unaware of grown-ups problems.
So let's just fuggedaboutit, keep calm and carry on. Bring on the sweaters and jeans, pumpkin and spice, football, and definitely the salted caramel mocha frappucinos. Mama's just been re-hired by Macy's at Stonewood Center in Downey. Hello 20% discount for Christmas shopping! Austin starts preschool on Tuesday. Bless his little heart, I know he's so excited and that it's going to be a wonderful change in his life. Louis is back in school, so that means the return of his VA school benefits added to his ongoing disability benefits, which are of great help each month when he doesn't get much work shifts. We've learned from hard lessons, and are on the way to making up for the summer that went bust. Not returning to Vegas until late March or early April to celebrate either my dad's 63rd birthday, or his and my mom's 36th wedding anniversary. We wanna go big time, so if you wanna get on the gravy train, hit me up ;-)
Enjoy your Labor Day weekend everyone. Be safe and be well. And let's hope this stickiest of the icky heat leaves us real soon.
Friday, August 3, 2012
My home away from home
I was 18 years old the first time my parents took me to Las Vegas. The whole family went for cousin Andrea's wedding to Carl. I was excited for both reasons, to see Vegas for the first time and to see all of the family of course. Ruiz family weddings are always a blast and full of memories. Including mine, which I also held in Vegas in 2006. Only difference is that I didn't have the advantage of living there like Andrea and Carl. But after my first visit back then in September of 1996, I hoped one day that I would be able to call it home.
My family and I stayed at the old Hacienda Hotel, which is where Mandalay Bay now stands. Not being of age to gamble, my brother and cousins still managed to have some fun just by sightseeing and well hitting up the hotel arcade (haha). Hell, even just having a room to ourselves to hang out for a bit was fun enough. I remember my cousin Isabella and I used to talk about we couldn't wait the few short years until we turned 21 to go back and do the whole rite of passage of drinking (legally *hehe*) and gambling for the first time. Granted, she would turn 21 shortly before me, but we still were excited to look forward to the day we could return without restrictions.
One of my best friends, Cindy, lived nearby at the time in Kingman, Arizona. Her family had to move there at the start of our senior year of high school, but we kept in touch. Kingman is about a 2 hour drive from Vegas, so if I'm not mistaken, I believe by then her family had made a few recreational visits by the fall of '96. Soon, we started talking about making plans to live there together with her older sister Priscilla. It was pretty much the closest metropolitan area other than Phoenix where they would have opportunity to settle into a nice career and establish a living. Up until then, I always dreamed that I would end up living near or on the beach, one of Southern Californa's coastal cities. I grew up spending nearly every summer visiting Bolsa Chica, Seal and Huntington Beaches and wanted to just live there. But for some reason after that visit, I thought Vegas could be even greater. Cindy, Priscilla and I did our homework and figured with 3 of us in an apartment, it couldn't be that hard to hold down rent once we had jobs. So the plan was to carry on with our lives at home, save our money, get cars and start making waves to find work out there. One of the neat things we found was that there was plenty of apartment communities that would assist you in making the transition from out of state with rent assistance, job search assistance, discount furniture, and so on. In between the whole plan to save save save, we made a few visits to Vegas on our own once we all turned 21. Every visit was all of the fun you could imagine it to be for 3 twentysomething girls. And with every visit came that goodbye which we hated to have to make. It's okay, we'd always say. Someday soon we'll be making that one way trip in to Las Vegas and never look back.
As it does, life got in the way as the years passed. I stopped going to school because the job I had at the time was paying well, and I figured if I was available full-time I could make more money to be able to save for Vegas. Eventually, the job didn't last. I met Louis and managed to convince him that a life in Vegas could be good for both of us. Cindy had met and married someone by the time I had gotten married also, and their plan was to move to Vegas still also. Well they managed to do it and I was very happy for them. Louis figured with his veteran benefits that we could manage to get out there soon enough as well. But our first few years of being married, we experienced some hard times and ended up having to stay with my parents. Nonetheless, we kept trucking along with our moving plan and had it all figured out. Louis would study hotel management at Community College of Southern Nevada with a transfer to UNLV's Hotel Management school for his masters. I could find work as a massage therapist since I had gotten my certification in 2005. In October 2009, a sudden illness took our Priscilla away from this earth. She was a wonderful woman full of drive and ambition who we love and miss dearly. I'll share about her at another time.
In November 2008, our sweet Austin came into the world. At this point, I was starting to lose momentum for Vegas because with each year prior to that which had past, it was another year lost to make the move. I won't get into specifics for personal reasons, but we just couldn't manage to get our shit together. It grew more and more frustrating, so by then I told Louis I'm not going to make any more deadlines as to when we can make the move. Because every year that we did that, we never made the deadline. Sometimes it was his fault, sometimes it was my fault. I told him we just need to have a certain amount of money in the bank, a car, and some contacts for jobs. As soon as all of that was done, then we can go. But now that we had Austin, I knew it was going to be a little more difficult. Not impossible, just a little more difficult. I always had Cindy giving me recommendations to resources that could help us make the move. Even with an infant, as by then she had also given birth to a son. I tried to stay positive, even as we were hearing news that the Las Vegas economy was beginning to suffer at that time. The same way our economy here in California began to suffer, which was making it even harder on us with our finances.
By now, we've realized that Vegas dream isn't likely to pan out. Louis is already in school here for hotel management, and is almost ready to transfer to state to get the bachelor's degree. Austin needs to start school this fall. And I've got to do something worthwhile with myself because my luck with work hasn't been the greatest. It's the hand we were dealt, and I'm too tired to blame anyone or anything in particular now. What's done is done, and all we can do is make a new ending from this point. It just stings every now and then because I feel that I failed big time. A Vegas move couldn't have been that difficult. If Cindy and her husband Oscar did it, why couldn't we? I was and never will be jealous of my friend because even though they made it, the path wasn't easy. Maybe Louis and my path wouldn't have been easy either. But it just didn't happen. Maybe it didn't happen for the better of our sake. But I still feel like we could make it happen. I don't want to say the Vegas dream is completely over. Just because the three of us are going to school here doesn't mean we can't finish out there. Despite what the news is saying, people are still moving there and making waves towards their goals. I don't know exactly what it is that draws me to live there. It's not the gambling because if it was I'd be broke and never get anywhere. For as many times I've visited, I've managed to make my way around town and discover a some neighborhoods. I got a real good feel for certain neighborhoods during the one year Louis and I managed to meet with realtors and got to tour some condos. And the year we spent planning our wedding helped us discover as well. I developed a great liking for the Meadows Mall, and wanted us to settle into the Summerlin neighborhood. It's the perfect little suburbia with beautifully affordable homes, great schools and shopping, reminded me of the nice parts of Orange County. Except there's a huge desert in the background. Another option was Henderson/Green Valley area, which is where Cindy and Oscar settled. I've even tried convincing my parents to move or retire there so that we could all continue to be close by each other. They liked the sound of it. But theirs is another story, and of course I know my dad wants to retire from Disneyland in a few years. Anyhow, I don't know if it's just the allure of saying that "I live in Las Vegas" is what draws me. I don't know if it's the pretty neon lights that are always free to look at and to just take a walk down The Strip for amusement, hanging out in the luxurious hotels, eating in the nice restaurants. I don't know what it is. I just love it. Every time we go, I like to stay at least 4 days. I love rolling in to town, whether by car or airplane, and I'm a droopy mess when it's time to come back to L.A. It's my home away from home.
Of course, there are cons next to a list of pros. Vegas is hot, always is. But I can manage. If the people of Vegas have gotten used to it their whole lives, then so can we. I grew up adoring the Southern California beaches and having the advantage of only being 25 minutes away from the nearest one. There are no beaches in Las Vegas. The closest thing to water recreation is Lake Mead. Disneyland has always been fun, and we've never had to pay for a ticket our whole lives that my dad has been working there. And we still won't have to pay once he retires. Sure, there's the Adventuredome at Circus Circus. But it's not Disneyland. Norwalk isn't the greatest town, but I love that I have the excitement of L.A. and Hollywood close by if I want it. I still love going up north to visit family and only having an average 6 hour drive. And to tell the truth, I've even contemplated living somewhere near the coast up there one day. Next to Vegas, the beach has always been my sanctuary.
Everywhere I would want to settle here in California is gonna cost a pretty penny. Las Vegas' cost of living isn't as bad as it is here. Both dreams are only impossible if I make them impossible. I don't know where we're gonna end up. Maybe there will be a sign one day. Maybe I'll make enough money eventually that I can just buy one of those lovely timeshare condos in Vegas so that we can visit more often. There are some which give you that ability, we've researched it ;o) But dammit, I'd still love to have that gorgeous house in Summerlin. Ugh, well only time and circumstance can tell now. I just know I don't want to be sticking around here in Norwalk for the rest of my life.
My family and I stayed at the old Hacienda Hotel, which is where Mandalay Bay now stands. Not being of age to gamble, my brother and cousins still managed to have some fun just by sightseeing and well hitting up the hotel arcade (haha). Hell, even just having a room to ourselves to hang out for a bit was fun enough. I remember my cousin Isabella and I used to talk about we couldn't wait the few short years until we turned 21 to go back and do the whole rite of passage of drinking (legally *hehe*) and gambling for the first time. Granted, she would turn 21 shortly before me, but we still were excited to look forward to the day we could return without restrictions.
One of my best friends, Cindy, lived nearby at the time in Kingman, Arizona. Her family had to move there at the start of our senior year of high school, but we kept in touch. Kingman is about a 2 hour drive from Vegas, so if I'm not mistaken, I believe by then her family had made a few recreational visits by the fall of '96. Soon, we started talking about making plans to live there together with her older sister Priscilla. It was pretty much the closest metropolitan area other than Phoenix where they would have opportunity to settle into a nice career and establish a living. Up until then, I always dreamed that I would end up living near or on the beach, one of Southern Californa's coastal cities. I grew up spending nearly every summer visiting Bolsa Chica, Seal and Huntington Beaches and wanted to just live there. But for some reason after that visit, I thought Vegas could be even greater. Cindy, Priscilla and I did our homework and figured with 3 of us in an apartment, it couldn't be that hard to hold down rent once we had jobs. So the plan was to carry on with our lives at home, save our money, get cars and start making waves to find work out there. One of the neat things we found was that there was plenty of apartment communities that would assist you in making the transition from out of state with rent assistance, job search assistance, discount furniture, and so on. In between the whole plan to save save save, we made a few visits to Vegas on our own once we all turned 21. Every visit was all of the fun you could imagine it to be for 3 twentysomething girls. And with every visit came that goodbye which we hated to have to make. It's okay, we'd always say. Someday soon we'll be making that one way trip in to Las Vegas and never look back.
As it does, life got in the way as the years passed. I stopped going to school because the job I had at the time was paying well, and I figured if I was available full-time I could make more money to be able to save for Vegas. Eventually, the job didn't last. I met Louis and managed to convince him that a life in Vegas could be good for both of us. Cindy had met and married someone by the time I had gotten married also, and their plan was to move to Vegas still also. Well they managed to do it and I was very happy for them. Louis figured with his veteran benefits that we could manage to get out there soon enough as well. But our first few years of being married, we experienced some hard times and ended up having to stay with my parents. Nonetheless, we kept trucking along with our moving plan and had it all figured out. Louis would study hotel management at Community College of Southern Nevada with a transfer to UNLV's Hotel Management school for his masters. I could find work as a massage therapist since I had gotten my certification in 2005. In October 2009, a sudden illness took our Priscilla away from this earth. She was a wonderful woman full of drive and ambition who we love and miss dearly. I'll share about her at another time.
In November 2008, our sweet Austin came into the world. At this point, I was starting to lose momentum for Vegas because with each year prior to that which had past, it was another year lost to make the move. I won't get into specifics for personal reasons, but we just couldn't manage to get our shit together. It grew more and more frustrating, so by then I told Louis I'm not going to make any more deadlines as to when we can make the move. Because every year that we did that, we never made the deadline. Sometimes it was his fault, sometimes it was my fault. I told him we just need to have a certain amount of money in the bank, a car, and some contacts for jobs. As soon as all of that was done, then we can go. But now that we had Austin, I knew it was going to be a little more difficult. Not impossible, just a little more difficult. I always had Cindy giving me recommendations to resources that could help us make the move. Even with an infant, as by then she had also given birth to a son. I tried to stay positive, even as we were hearing news that the Las Vegas economy was beginning to suffer at that time. The same way our economy here in California began to suffer, which was making it even harder on us with our finances.
By now, we've realized that Vegas dream isn't likely to pan out. Louis is already in school here for hotel management, and is almost ready to transfer to state to get the bachelor's degree. Austin needs to start school this fall. And I've got to do something worthwhile with myself because my luck with work hasn't been the greatest. It's the hand we were dealt, and I'm too tired to blame anyone or anything in particular now. What's done is done, and all we can do is make a new ending from this point. It just stings every now and then because I feel that I failed big time. A Vegas move couldn't have been that difficult. If Cindy and her husband Oscar did it, why couldn't we? I was and never will be jealous of my friend because even though they made it, the path wasn't easy. Maybe Louis and my path wouldn't have been easy either. But it just didn't happen. Maybe it didn't happen for the better of our sake. But I still feel like we could make it happen. I don't want to say the Vegas dream is completely over. Just because the three of us are going to school here doesn't mean we can't finish out there. Despite what the news is saying, people are still moving there and making waves towards their goals. I don't know exactly what it is that draws me to live there. It's not the gambling because if it was I'd be broke and never get anywhere. For as many times I've visited, I've managed to make my way around town and discover a some neighborhoods. I got a real good feel for certain neighborhoods during the one year Louis and I managed to meet with realtors and got to tour some condos. And the year we spent planning our wedding helped us discover as well. I developed a great liking for the Meadows Mall, and wanted us to settle into the Summerlin neighborhood. It's the perfect little suburbia with beautifully affordable homes, great schools and shopping, reminded me of the nice parts of Orange County. Except there's a huge desert in the background. Another option was Henderson/Green Valley area, which is where Cindy and Oscar settled. I've even tried convincing my parents to move or retire there so that we could all continue to be close by each other. They liked the sound of it. But theirs is another story, and of course I know my dad wants to retire from Disneyland in a few years. Anyhow, I don't know if it's just the allure of saying that "I live in Las Vegas" is what draws me. I don't know if it's the pretty neon lights that are always free to look at and to just take a walk down The Strip for amusement, hanging out in the luxurious hotels, eating in the nice restaurants. I don't know what it is. I just love it. Every time we go, I like to stay at least 4 days. I love rolling in to town, whether by car or airplane, and I'm a droopy mess when it's time to come back to L.A. It's my home away from home.
Of course, there are cons next to a list of pros. Vegas is hot, always is. But I can manage. If the people of Vegas have gotten used to it their whole lives, then so can we. I grew up adoring the Southern California beaches and having the advantage of only being 25 minutes away from the nearest one. There are no beaches in Las Vegas. The closest thing to water recreation is Lake Mead. Disneyland has always been fun, and we've never had to pay for a ticket our whole lives that my dad has been working there. And we still won't have to pay once he retires. Sure, there's the Adventuredome at Circus Circus. But it's not Disneyland. Norwalk isn't the greatest town, but I love that I have the excitement of L.A. and Hollywood close by if I want it. I still love going up north to visit family and only having an average 6 hour drive. And to tell the truth, I've even contemplated living somewhere near the coast up there one day. Next to Vegas, the beach has always been my sanctuary.
Everywhere I would want to settle here in California is gonna cost a pretty penny. Las Vegas' cost of living isn't as bad as it is here. Both dreams are only impossible if I make them impossible. I don't know where we're gonna end up. Maybe there will be a sign one day. Maybe I'll make enough money eventually that I can just buy one of those lovely timeshare condos in Vegas so that we can visit more often. There are some which give you that ability, we've researched it ;o) But dammit, I'd still love to have that gorgeous house in Summerlin. Ugh, well only time and circumstance can tell now. I just know I don't want to be sticking around here in Norwalk for the rest of my life.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
It's Been A Long Time
I suppose it's been a good 5 years since I've gotten back into the blogging thing. My last blog was on Livejournal, and well it's been so long that I just can't remember my login info. Don't want to bother doing the whole reset thing either because that blog was fun, but I think it's best to start fresh. This will be a good practice outlet as well since I plan to go back to school this fall and finish my Journalism degree. I just miss writing, and I know I should need to get back into it. I'd like to say this blog will be rated E for everyone. But that's probably not gonna happen given my Gemini nature. So buckle up and enjoy the ride.. Time for catch up!
Well just as most Americans are suffering today, my situation is certainly one to be reckoned with. As many of those close to me know, I was let go from my Merchandising job at Macy's in February. Long story short, my attendance was shotty and my attendance record suffered, so due to company policy, I was future endeavored. I got apologies left and right from HR, my supervisor and co-workers because they knew they were losing an excellent worker who went above and beyond the call of duty. But rules is rules, and that was that. I was denied unemployment, even after appealing twice to the Unemployment Insurance Board. Sucks because even my former HR manager felt I should have been awarded benefits. Some of her statements even sounded like she was testifying for me. But the judge was a hard and completely unreasonable prick. Made me feel like shit for things that were out of my control. I figured in the end it was just an opportunity for the state to save a few bucks. I still have the opportunity to take it to Superior Court. But that means getting help from legal aid, another long drawn out process. I suppose I could look into it. But there's other things going on right now that just need more of my time right now.
I've been on endless job hunts and interviews since then. Every interview I had went so well I thought I had it in the bag. There was even one job that was a Girl Friday office gig but was going to pay $15 an hour. I didn't care, it was better than the $0 an hour I'm making now. I couldn't even get that guy to call me back! I know exactly what my problem is--I'm overqualified. Which is something I still don't understand. So these stores would rather hire an underqualified bonehead? Just because I have the ability to move up faster in a particular position than most people doesn't mean I want to take your job next. And it doesn't mean I'll continue to look for another job that pays more and quit if I get offered a higher paying job. I just want to get back to work. I've got bills to pay. I've got a son who needs to start preschool this fall. But after all of the rejections and knowing why, for the most part, I've decided I should just get back to school and get a career that I actually enjoy started. The only thing I'm worried about is getting caught up in another student loan. So if worse comes to worse and I can't afford community and state college, I'll find another way somehow.
In the meantime, this also means I'll have to turn to public assistance to help support my family in the meantime. My husband basically works on-call, and although he gets Veteran benefits once a month, we can't live off of that alone. It's my last resort, and I am only turning to public assistance because it's all I have to turn to now. I can at least feel some comfort in knowing that I'm surely not the only one in a similar position who had to resort to this. I've worked since I was 17 years old, went to community college for a bit after that, and was pretty independent and stable with my income throughout my twenties. I came close to figuring out exactly what it is that I should be doing to make a living. But shit happens, marriage happened, and I've got to do what I can to survive. I've had too many restarts, and I'm tired.
I'd never resort to crime, but I really dig this movie, and this song so much more.
http://youtu.be/KtzRJgZG98I
Well just as most Americans are suffering today, my situation is certainly one to be reckoned with. As many of those close to me know, I was let go from my Merchandising job at Macy's in February. Long story short, my attendance was shotty and my attendance record suffered, so due to company policy, I was future endeavored. I got apologies left and right from HR, my supervisor and co-workers because they knew they were losing an excellent worker who went above and beyond the call of duty. But rules is rules, and that was that. I was denied unemployment, even after appealing twice to the Unemployment Insurance Board. Sucks because even my former HR manager felt I should have been awarded benefits. Some of her statements even sounded like she was testifying for me. But the judge was a hard and completely unreasonable prick. Made me feel like shit for things that were out of my control. I figured in the end it was just an opportunity for the state to save a few bucks. I still have the opportunity to take it to Superior Court. But that means getting help from legal aid, another long drawn out process. I suppose I could look into it. But there's other things going on right now that just need more of my time right now.
I've been on endless job hunts and interviews since then. Every interview I had went so well I thought I had it in the bag. There was even one job that was a Girl Friday office gig but was going to pay $15 an hour. I didn't care, it was better than the $0 an hour I'm making now. I couldn't even get that guy to call me back! I know exactly what my problem is--I'm overqualified. Which is something I still don't understand. So these stores would rather hire an underqualified bonehead? Just because I have the ability to move up faster in a particular position than most people doesn't mean I want to take your job next. And it doesn't mean I'll continue to look for another job that pays more and quit if I get offered a higher paying job. I just want to get back to work. I've got bills to pay. I've got a son who needs to start preschool this fall. But after all of the rejections and knowing why, for the most part, I've decided I should just get back to school and get a career that I actually enjoy started. The only thing I'm worried about is getting caught up in another student loan. So if worse comes to worse and I can't afford community and state college, I'll find another way somehow.
In the meantime, this also means I'll have to turn to public assistance to help support my family in the meantime. My husband basically works on-call, and although he gets Veteran benefits once a month, we can't live off of that alone. It's my last resort, and I am only turning to public assistance because it's all I have to turn to now. I can at least feel some comfort in knowing that I'm surely not the only one in a similar position who had to resort to this. I've worked since I was 17 years old, went to community college for a bit after that, and was pretty independent and stable with my income throughout my twenties. I came close to figuring out exactly what it is that I should be doing to make a living. But shit happens, marriage happened, and I've got to do what I can to survive. I've had too many restarts, and I'm tired.
I'd never resort to crime, but I really dig this movie, and this song so much more.
http://youtu.be/KtzRJgZG98I
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