Expensive campaigns. Countless mailers ranging from 8x10 to 11x14 sized flyers. Phone calls in the middle of dinner from random creepy voices. Two of whom included former Los Angels Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa and R&B artist John Legend, asking to support their choice of candidates. Almost as crazy as a Presidential Election year, yesterday November 4 was the mid-term election day in the United States. Many states held elections for Congressional leaders, and we all had our own state and local measures to decide on. I found the measures equally important to be sure I went out and cast my vote, or at the very least turn in an absentee ballot. But because of my procrastinating flaw, I failed to get the absentee ballot in the mail on time and decided I should go down to my local polling precinct to get the votes in.
My ballot directed me to the usual neighborhood polling location at Seacoast Grace Christian Church. It's just a couple of blocks away and a short drive on the way home from Austin's school. So my mom and I decided to stop by after picking him up at 1 p.m. and beat the after work crowd later on. We pulled in and could not find any signs up directing to the poll location, so I figured we should drive over to the Auditorium which was near the main church entrance and offices. We saw a few doors open in the buildings, but still no poll directional signs. The church is not situated like most churches in where you can see the entire campus from the street with a parking lot usually right in front. This driveway we were on had one way in and one way out, which eventually led us to the rear of the campus that housed the Children and Youth Ministry buildings. There was some parking back there, but the entire place was empty. Except for a few people going in and out of the Children's building who appeared to be working, so we stopped a young man as he noticed us driving aimlessly near the building. I asked if he knew where the voting location was on the grounds, and he was unaware that a polling location was even set up there at the church. Nonetheless, he politely excused himself to ask someone in the main office. He returned to tell us that he was told that although Seacoast regularly hosted a polling location there, they were not doing so this time around. Very strange, we all thought. Our sample ballots said to go here. Vote411.org confirmed this address as our polling precinct. Yet somehow Seacoast was suddenly not doing it, without notice or any forwarding information.
As my mom had to get back to work, I decided to call the toll-free help number I found on Vote411.org. They too again confirmed that I was at the correct location but became very concerned as to why we were turned away without any further help or explanation. The representative took my name and phone number and promised to have someone return a call to me for an update. "The last thing we would want is for you to be discouraged to not go out and vote, so we will do everything we can to help you and also make sure that no one else is getting incorrectly turned away." I gave him all the details of where we looked, how the church campus is situated and confirmed that we did not see any directional signs whatsoever.
Within the next hour, I received a phone call from someone at the Registrar's Office in Los Angeles. She confirmed that the polling location was indeed at the church and located inside a building called the Ranch House. I noted that I did see the Ranch House, however did not see any signs or flags posted. We also did not notice many cars near that building as well. And again, the few cars that we did see we assumed must have been people there conducting church business because of the lack of voting signs. So I had to reiterate all the information I gave to the Vote411 representative to her, and I could sense the frustration and disappointment in her response to me. Again, she apologized for the inconvenience to me and encouraged me to go back out there and make sure that I vote. She was very helpful and sympathetic of course. Just very concerned about who told that worker to tell us that they're not having the polling there, and of course why they would say that. She assured me that she would be putting in a call to the church and the precinct inside the Ranch House building to report this situation.
I went back later around 4:30 p.m. and suddenly saw those white lawn signs posted along the sidewalk, and a few slightly larger signs that directed you to the Ranch House for the polling place. I went in without a hassle, except for a very small wait of having to sign a couple of forms to confirm that I needed a provisional ballot since I had already requested an absentee ballot. No biggie. But as I went to sign for the provisional ballot, I felt a sense of annoyance from the older white man who was assisting me. I could see out of the corner of my eye that he was looking me up and down once I told him my last name. I'm totally not lying and know I was not paranoid because my dad noticed this man seemed a bit peeved at the sight of some people who were approaching the table to sign in or get provisional ballots like I was having to do. And yes, a good handful of people who came up behind me had accents when they spoke. Later as we left, my dad pointed out that he noticed a man sitting in the waiting area near where he sat to wait for me. The man had a badge and what appeared to be a two-way radio, and he was watching the poll workers at the table very closely. He also talked in to the radio quietly a few times while we were there. My dad said, "You know what? I have a feeling that the Registrar sent someone down here once you reported what happened to you earlier." Quite possible. Very interesting.
Now I'm not gonna whine and say this whole city of Cypress is full of racist, right-wing conservatives. I'd say it's a good mix of blue and red. But for the most part, Orange County is heavily Republican. I am a Democrat and not afraid to live here and have my voice heard and vote counted when I have that right. I am not saying that I was directly and blatantly discriminated against when I went to my polling place. Everyone except that old man was very polite and professional. What bothered me was whoever sat in that church office and told that worker that they weren't having the election poll there this year. And why weren't any voting signs clearly posted when we got there earlier at 1:30 p.m., six and a half hours after polling locations opened? Mid-term elections tend to produce very low turn-outs. But this time around, there were many activists and citizens from every range of every spectrum encouraging their fellow Americans to participate in this election, no matter how meager they felt the issues may have been. It should be a habit for every election if you're going to do your part and have your voice heard. Yet when things like this happen where a polling location such as this one is suddenly quiet and seemingly discouraging voters to come on in, it's hard not to wonder why. What if someone else encountered the same situation that I did and got discouraged enough to just go home and say, "Screw it!"? What if someone else chose not to do some emergency research and seek out help? Aside from those who are accustomed to voting at this location regularly, what about those coming to the church for the first time like I did? I've only been living here for nearly two years, but I sent in an absentee ballot in the last special election my city held last June. Bottom line, there should have been signs, clear as day, just like the Registrar representative told me.
It's definitely questionable what happened yesterday. And I think I'm going to just show up to the polling place in person to vote in the next election, no matter what. Whether I'm still here in Cypress or anywhere else by then, I'll be walking right up and getting my sticker. Oh, which by the way, that old man didn't even bother to wish me a good night, thank me, or even offer me an "I Voted" sticker once I was done and handed him my ballot. Just saying.
Wednesday, November 5, 2014
New Leaf
With the Fall comes new leaves, the chance to turn them over. Yes, yes, sounds very common. But there's really no other way to describe what's going on in life right now. Not just for me, but for my little family.
Austin started Kindergarten in a breeze. He was well prepared and immediately took to his new environment by making new friends and enjoying his teacher. We even signed him up for Fall Ball with the Cypress Youth Baseball league, and it turned out that many of his classmates are either on his team or in the division with him. He even found one of his old buddies from Valley Christian playing in the division as well. Everything has turned out great for him and he's adjusting quite well. There was really no worry that he'd be fine once school started up again. He loves being in school and playing sports. We're all so grateful and happy to see him like this, especially being an only child.
Louis and I finally spoke to him about what's really going on, gently of course. There was no need to explain in full detail why, who, what and where. But he understands that even though Mommy and Daddy will no longer be married, we'll still be a family and will always be here for him. He didn't ask too many questions as to whether or not someone made the other one mad, or if it was his fault. I think because he's just still so young to even comprehend what true love and a marriage is supposed to be about. He just sees Mommy and Daddy and knows that he still needs us. Even if we have to live apart, we'll still be a family.
Without getting too much into detail for personal reasons, at this time anyway, I've had some time to think about things and what's next. Louis also did his own soul-searching and continues to work on his own issues as well. It's what's best for him, and even though we're going through the technicality of legal status, we're still on good terms. He has his moments, but he's learned ways to work through them. He needs this time alone, and he's fine with that. Just like I am. Sometimes things like this happen to make someone realize what they really want out of life, or what they need. We just happened to get married at a time which we thought was okay. And then a kid came along. Hey, it doesn't have to be all bad. It doesn't have to make one feel like a failure. As long as you can own up to what's happened, accept the responsibilities at hand and move on, everything will be just fine. It really doesn't have to be the end of the world.
I've kept my mind on so many other things that have both crudely and positively distracted me. Again, something I'm willing to learn and move on from. I've spoken at length to those very close to me about what's occurred, and they have greatly helped me feel better about the future. I've made a couple of wonderful new friends who I'm excited to start spending some time with. Never expected to be joining another social network, but Tumblr has become a fun new habit for me. I'm mainly using it as a platform for my creative side, so poetry is the highlight of that profile. The holidays are coming, I'm picking up more hours at Ulta, Austin will be six (!) years old in three weeks, and the weather is finally starting to cool down! Well, with the exception of today, yesterday, and tomorrow bringing high 80s temps, but it's Southern California, what are you gonna do? This new leaf is looking mighty fine and I'm positive it will continue to bring better times for all of us ahead.
Austin started Kindergarten in a breeze. He was well prepared and immediately took to his new environment by making new friends and enjoying his teacher. We even signed him up for Fall Ball with the Cypress Youth Baseball league, and it turned out that many of his classmates are either on his team or in the division with him. He even found one of his old buddies from Valley Christian playing in the division as well. Everything has turned out great for him and he's adjusting quite well. There was really no worry that he'd be fine once school started up again. He loves being in school and playing sports. We're all so grateful and happy to see him like this, especially being an only child.
Louis and I finally spoke to him about what's really going on, gently of course. There was no need to explain in full detail why, who, what and where. But he understands that even though Mommy and Daddy will no longer be married, we'll still be a family and will always be here for him. He didn't ask too many questions as to whether or not someone made the other one mad, or if it was his fault. I think because he's just still so young to even comprehend what true love and a marriage is supposed to be about. He just sees Mommy and Daddy and knows that he still needs us. Even if we have to live apart, we'll still be a family.
Without getting too much into detail for personal reasons, at this time anyway, I've had some time to think about things and what's next. Louis also did his own soul-searching and continues to work on his own issues as well. It's what's best for him, and even though we're going through the technicality of legal status, we're still on good terms. He has his moments, but he's learned ways to work through them. He needs this time alone, and he's fine with that. Just like I am. Sometimes things like this happen to make someone realize what they really want out of life, or what they need. We just happened to get married at a time which we thought was okay. And then a kid came along. Hey, it doesn't have to be all bad. It doesn't have to make one feel like a failure. As long as you can own up to what's happened, accept the responsibilities at hand and move on, everything will be just fine. It really doesn't have to be the end of the world.
I've kept my mind on so many other things that have both crudely and positively distracted me. Again, something I'm willing to learn and move on from. I've spoken at length to those very close to me about what's occurred, and they have greatly helped me feel better about the future. I've made a couple of wonderful new friends who I'm excited to start spending some time with. Never expected to be joining another social network, but Tumblr has become a fun new habit for me. I'm mainly using it as a platform for my creative side, so poetry is the highlight of that profile. The holidays are coming, I'm picking up more hours at Ulta, Austin will be six (!) years old in three weeks, and the weather is finally starting to cool down! Well, with the exception of today, yesterday, and tomorrow bringing high 80s temps, but it's Southern California, what are you gonna do? This new leaf is looking mighty fine and I'm positive it will continue to bring better times for all of us ahead.
Sunday, August 24, 2014
Roller Coaster
On the outside, I look great. I'm doing better than expected, some would say. Of course, because it's all on the outside. Just like anyone else, I could be
One day I'll be insanely angry at my mother for something she said. The next day Louis may have pissed me off for some reason that will have me cursing his name until I've cooled off. And then in between, I'll be back to normal with each of them. Thoughts of failure always enter my mind and some instances of regret as well because I'll ask myself how could I have been so stupid to get taken for a ride by his bullshit after several years. I'll think about how disappointed I am in him and myself at the fact that we just couldn't get out of my parents house, because that definitely put a damper on everything. Never would I have expected things to turn out as bad as they have in my life. It's definitely frustrating, but somehow I'm grinning and bearing through it. Nonetheless, I seriously fear that I am suffering some form of depression as a result of all of that. Because when these occurrences commence, I notice little things I'll do, like unconsciously overeating or having a terrible lack of energy. I also tend to stay up late or sometimes just can't get to sleep even if I try. I feel like the only time I'm happy is when I'm out somewhere with Austin, or as crazy as it may be to admit, when I'm working at the stadium. I love the people and environment I work with, and although there are small annoyances on the job dealing with rude guests, it's nothing that can't get swept away within a short amount of time. I'm afraid to find out if something is wrong with me internally. But then again, I'm Latina, and we don't usually seek professional help for these sort of things in our culture. Probably because prescription drugs tend to be part of the answer. And secondly, well we were just raised to suck the shit up and move on. Tomorrow's another day. Get over it. That's certainly something my mother says when the subject of Louis' anxiety and depression issues are brought up. Well the sad fact of the matter is that some people just can't get over it. That, or it's gonna take some work.
Everyone is asking if I'm prepared for the emotions of Austin going to his first day of Kindergarten. Of course I have emotions. But I'm not sad. I'm excited for him, a little nervous of course at the same time as well. And I know he's a great kid and has so much confidence that he'll do just fine. I think the fact that he had two years of preschool made it that much easier for him and I. So I'm actually looking forward to him having a longer school day, five days a week. It'll do him some great good, and it'll give me a break in between as well. I know deep down he's suffering from the effects of this divorce, but it's hard sometimes to get things out of a 5-year-old dealing with this. I just hope him getting back into the school routine and eventually starting Little League will help him deal better. He'll still be upset that daddy isn't living here anymore. But at least he'll have all of this activity to distract him. Somehow in the middle of all of this, I know we have to explain to him that mommy and daddy aren't going to be married anymore.
Of course divorce is a roller coaster, but it's not exactly fun. The ups are highs when your feeling of freedom overwhelms you, or when you meet a cute guy and get all giddy at the notion that "you still got it." The dips and turns are the lows when you get mad at something he did or forgot that you have to work and still decided to take another shift at his job when it really wasn't necessary, or he blew his check without considering that you two still have one last cell phone bill to clean up. So how do we get off the damn ride? Well, technically probably not until those papers are finalized. But there's bound to be more issues once each of you can officially call yourself divorced. Especially and always when children are involved. I just hope Louis and I can continue to work together and not let anything or anyone else get in our way. All we can do is hope for the best.
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
The Best I Can Do?
Juggling schedules is something every family experiences. My family is no different, except for maybe a few minor significance in that mine is and will be a divorced family. But so far Louis and I are doing just fine when it comes to setting schedules. Our only problem is my mother. She always has something to say and it usually causes tension. You would think she's the one going through the divorce.
Due to my strained financial situation, I live with my parents, along with Austin. The divorce isn't necessarily causing my financial strain. Those problems were happening all the while during my marriage. It's frustrating because it's bad enough that I'm embarrassed to have to admit that I'm still living with my parents. But it is what it is and I'm working on getting out of here. I also don't drive because I don't have a car, so my parents will help me get wherever I need to if it's possible. I never complain if I can't get a ride to work one day or the next for whatever reason. I manage and use the bus if I have to. Right now I'm working two part time jobs, one at Angel Stadium and the other at Ulta. The stadium is more consistent during the summer and mostly night shifts because of the games. Ulta is limited to 2 days a week, about 4-8 hours. I know it's not the greatest, but it's what I've got.
This is my second season with the Angels, and of course it does put a damper on any possible summer vacations. But given the circumstances this year, it was a bit more difficult to be able to plan something and take Austin somewhere for an experience. But it's not like he complained. We've done what we could even if it's the little things, like trips to the movies, a visit to Disneyland, and we just took him to WWE Summerslam as well. When were not working, we are with him. He always comes first. And if we have to work a little harder at times to take care of him and our responsibilities, he understands that. But for some reason, my mother seems to think otherwise. Especially when there are nights that I'm at the stadium and Austin won't go to sleep at a decent hour. He's a kid, he's gonna act up sometimes. I've told her many times that if she and my dad don't want to get him to bed on my work nights then I could have Louis spend the night to take care of him. But she doesn't wasn't Louis here overnight. So my parents ended up helping me a lot this summer, which I greatly appreciate. What I don't understand and what upsets me is that I have to get dumped on every once in a while for apparently working too much. If you're gonna offer to help me with my son, don't complain and take bullshit out on me when you get a little frustrated with him for some reason. It's only her that has done this, my father hasn't complained. He understands what Louis and I are going through and trying to do.
So now the baseball season is coming to an end and Austin is starting Kindergarten on Monday. There's a week-long homestand next week as well, so I have to be there for at least five games. Louis also starts school next week, and he works at the school veterans center. So last night we had to discuss pick up arrangements for Austin. Louis and I worked it out, but no sooner did I let my mom know that she started up with her comments. She's of the opinion that Louis and I are too consumed with ourselves that we don't consider Austin and put him first. Excuse me?! Did I not just say that we figured out a plan for next week so that Austin doesn't have to get put into daycare or an after school program?? And it's one flipping week. I'll be off from the stadium for about a week and a half, and then there's one more 10-day homestand in September. We'll work out another arrangement when it comes time for it. And then yes, the Angels are hosting a Wild Card Playoff hand Sept. 30. Again, we'll figure that out when the time comes. Those games won't be as prolonged as a regular season schedule, and it all depends on how far they advance. They will be night games. And Louis' classes are mainly during the day, so it's not that difficult to figure something out. The other remark she made was that she thinks Louis and I didn't thoroughly think things through when we decided to file for this divorce when it comes to caring for Austin. If anything that was the first concern we had. Part of it unfortunately culminated in Louis choosing to move out in June. Of course Austin didn't take it very well, and he's still struggling. But he's getting by. He has his good days and bad days, it's expected. But I did not ask Louis to move out. He was very uncomfortable with the tension between him and my mother. I did not want it to affect our situation any further than it was already, so he felt it would be best for him to move out. Of course, the drawback with him being in that transitional veterans housing means he can't take Austin to stay overnight with him. But once he gets his own place, this will all work out better. We're just having to deal with the circumstances temporarily. And it appears to be wearing on my mother. That's understandable. But we don't need to be given grief for things that we can't change or make work faster. And no matter what she says, if Louis stayed through till the end of the baseball season to be able to be here more often, she still would've been pissed off and frustrated with his presence. We've learned a long time ago that she's never satisfied. She doesn't have to like Louis, but she should respect that he's Austin's father and that he's gonna be his father for the rest of his life. She should also be glad that he's still in the picture. Things could be so much worse if he'd just up and left me in the dust with no help at all.
Granted, our marriage went through many ups and downs, especially when it came to money and responsibilities. Louis may have screwed up royally on his end, but he knows he has to buck up to his responsibilities now more than ever for Austin's sake. Our relationship suffered and we've decided to bring it to an end. But we have not forgotten that we still have a son to take care of. We may be limited on our abilities right at this moment, but we're doing the best we can. I would love to go back to school and finish my degree so that I can get a better job, one job at that. But I can't afford to tack on more debt to myself, and scheduling would be another issue. Even for that I know my mother would give me grief. She'll find a way to say that it's taking away time from Austin. I have tried searching for more steady work with a regular schedule. But I'm not getting any calls back for an interview. Nothing I can do about that. So what am I supposed to do? Does all of that make me a bad mother? She never made that comment, but the way she tears into me sure makes me feel like it sometimes.
I know my job with AEG (Angel Stadium) isn't quite steady. But there's opportunity to grow in the company. So I've decided that I'm going to continue working towards moving up with them, as there is much more to AEG than Angel Stadium. I realize the lack of a college degree may make it difficult. But I'm going to see what I can do, and I will continue to be open to any other opportunities that may come along elsewhere. Ulta has the ability to grow as well. But again, that will take time if I want that. Personally I would like to see myself more with AEG because it's the kind of company I've always wanted to work for and find the ability to get away from retail. I've made my presence known, so I'm sure something can come along in the future. Louis is nearly done with his Associate's degree and will be more employable in his field once that happens. He and I are fine on the arrangements right now and realize we just have to be patient and remain focused on working towards our goals.
I just wish my mother would understand this somehow. If anyone should, it should be her. She and my father worked full-time all of their lives, so Richard and I were always in the care of someone else for the majority of our days since birth. No complaints ever, we know our parents did what they had to do and we turned out just fine. I could sit here and judge her for going straight back to work as soon as she was medically cleared to after I was born, and the fact that their jobs prevented them from having me at home during the week which meant I had to spend weeks at a time with my grandmother. But I would never judge them or anyone else who has had to deal with something similar. Like I said, Richard and I grew up just fine with the arrangement we had. We always had family around us and we were well cared for. Now it appears Louis and I are having the same with our son. Granted we may not have as much family as I did available to help us from time to time. But it's manageable, not impossible. This is a normal part of life that many families go through, married or not. I just can't understand why she can't just let bygones be bygones and let Louis and I work this out. It seems as though she's really letting her negative opinion of him cloud her judgement and constantly feel like she has to make remarks. Like I said, never satisfied.
Once I can get Austin and I out on our own, none of what she thinks will matter. If he's being properly cared for, then that's all that matters. But until then, I don't think I deserve to be bashed for trying. I can't sit here and do nothing with my life and just wait till he graduates high school. What good will that be for Austin, or even myself? I feel as though she has constantly judged me on so many things since the day he was born. Louis can attest to that. But I don't personally feel as though I've done anything wrong in raising and caring for him. I cannot find one thing that validates her to make judgments on my role as a mother. She may disagree in that it's like she is passing judgment on me. But she never realizes how much some of her words cut. I wouldn't be feeling this way if we never had to live with my parents all of this time. But I was dealt the hand I was given, and I've just had to learn to live with it. I think the only way she's going to stop is when she sees that we're going to work through this divorced family life and come out positive, despite what she or anyone thinks or says. Proving someone wrong is the ultimate. I am now more than ever determined to make that happen for my life.
Due to my strained financial situation, I live with my parents, along with Austin. The divorce isn't necessarily causing my financial strain. Those problems were happening all the while during my marriage. It's frustrating because it's bad enough that I'm embarrassed to have to admit that I'm still living with my parents. But it is what it is and I'm working on getting out of here. I also don't drive because I don't have a car, so my parents will help me get wherever I need to if it's possible. I never complain if I can't get a ride to work one day or the next for whatever reason. I manage and use the bus if I have to. Right now I'm working two part time jobs, one at Angel Stadium and the other at Ulta. The stadium is more consistent during the summer and mostly night shifts because of the games. Ulta is limited to 2 days a week, about 4-8 hours. I know it's not the greatest, but it's what I've got.
This is my second season with the Angels, and of course it does put a damper on any possible summer vacations. But given the circumstances this year, it was a bit more difficult to be able to plan something and take Austin somewhere for an experience. But it's not like he complained. We've done what we could even if it's the little things, like trips to the movies, a visit to Disneyland, and we just took him to WWE Summerslam as well. When were not working, we are with him. He always comes first. And if we have to work a little harder at times to take care of him and our responsibilities, he understands that. But for some reason, my mother seems to think otherwise. Especially when there are nights that I'm at the stadium and Austin won't go to sleep at a decent hour. He's a kid, he's gonna act up sometimes. I've told her many times that if she and my dad don't want to get him to bed on my work nights then I could have Louis spend the night to take care of him. But she doesn't wasn't Louis here overnight. So my parents ended up helping me a lot this summer, which I greatly appreciate. What I don't understand and what upsets me is that I have to get dumped on every once in a while for apparently working too much. If you're gonna offer to help me with my son, don't complain and take bullshit out on me when you get a little frustrated with him for some reason. It's only her that has done this, my father hasn't complained. He understands what Louis and I are going through and trying to do.
So now the baseball season is coming to an end and Austin is starting Kindergarten on Monday. There's a week-long homestand next week as well, so I have to be there for at least five games. Louis also starts school next week, and he works at the school veterans center. So last night we had to discuss pick up arrangements for Austin. Louis and I worked it out, but no sooner did I let my mom know that she started up with her comments. She's of the opinion that Louis and I are too consumed with ourselves that we don't consider Austin and put him first. Excuse me?! Did I not just say that we figured out a plan for next week so that Austin doesn't have to get put into daycare or an after school program?? And it's one flipping week. I'll be off from the stadium for about a week and a half, and then there's one more 10-day homestand in September. We'll work out another arrangement when it comes time for it. And then yes, the Angels are hosting a Wild Card Playoff hand Sept. 30. Again, we'll figure that out when the time comes. Those games won't be as prolonged as a regular season schedule, and it all depends on how far they advance. They will be night games. And Louis' classes are mainly during the day, so it's not that difficult to figure something out. The other remark she made was that she thinks Louis and I didn't thoroughly think things through when we decided to file for this divorce when it comes to caring for Austin. If anything that was the first concern we had. Part of it unfortunately culminated in Louis choosing to move out in June. Of course Austin didn't take it very well, and he's still struggling. But he's getting by. He has his good days and bad days, it's expected. But I did not ask Louis to move out. He was very uncomfortable with the tension between him and my mother. I did not want it to affect our situation any further than it was already, so he felt it would be best for him to move out. Of course, the drawback with him being in that transitional veterans housing means he can't take Austin to stay overnight with him. But once he gets his own place, this will all work out better. We're just having to deal with the circumstances temporarily. And it appears to be wearing on my mother. That's understandable. But we don't need to be given grief for things that we can't change or make work faster. And no matter what she says, if Louis stayed through till the end of the baseball season to be able to be here more often, she still would've been pissed off and frustrated with his presence. We've learned a long time ago that she's never satisfied. She doesn't have to like Louis, but she should respect that he's Austin's father and that he's gonna be his father for the rest of his life. She should also be glad that he's still in the picture. Things could be so much worse if he'd just up and left me in the dust with no help at all.
Granted, our marriage went through many ups and downs, especially when it came to money and responsibilities. Louis may have screwed up royally on his end, but he knows he has to buck up to his responsibilities now more than ever for Austin's sake. Our relationship suffered and we've decided to bring it to an end. But we have not forgotten that we still have a son to take care of. We may be limited on our abilities right at this moment, but we're doing the best we can. I would love to go back to school and finish my degree so that I can get a better job, one job at that. But I can't afford to tack on more debt to myself, and scheduling would be another issue. Even for that I know my mother would give me grief. She'll find a way to say that it's taking away time from Austin. I have tried searching for more steady work with a regular schedule. But I'm not getting any calls back for an interview. Nothing I can do about that. So what am I supposed to do? Does all of that make me a bad mother? She never made that comment, but the way she tears into me sure makes me feel like it sometimes.
I know my job with AEG (Angel Stadium) isn't quite steady. But there's opportunity to grow in the company. So I've decided that I'm going to continue working towards moving up with them, as there is much more to AEG than Angel Stadium. I realize the lack of a college degree may make it difficult. But I'm going to see what I can do, and I will continue to be open to any other opportunities that may come along elsewhere. Ulta has the ability to grow as well. But again, that will take time if I want that. Personally I would like to see myself more with AEG because it's the kind of company I've always wanted to work for and find the ability to get away from retail. I've made my presence known, so I'm sure something can come along in the future. Louis is nearly done with his Associate's degree and will be more employable in his field once that happens. He and I are fine on the arrangements right now and realize we just have to be patient and remain focused on working towards our goals.
I just wish my mother would understand this somehow. If anyone should, it should be her. She and my father worked full-time all of their lives, so Richard and I were always in the care of someone else for the majority of our days since birth. No complaints ever, we know our parents did what they had to do and we turned out just fine. I could sit here and judge her for going straight back to work as soon as she was medically cleared to after I was born, and the fact that their jobs prevented them from having me at home during the week which meant I had to spend weeks at a time with my grandmother. But I would never judge them or anyone else who has had to deal with something similar. Like I said, Richard and I grew up just fine with the arrangement we had. We always had family around us and we were well cared for. Now it appears Louis and I are having the same with our son. Granted we may not have as much family as I did available to help us from time to time. But it's manageable, not impossible. This is a normal part of life that many families go through, married or not. I just can't understand why she can't just let bygones be bygones and let Louis and I work this out. It seems as though she's really letting her negative opinion of him cloud her judgement and constantly feel like she has to make remarks. Like I said, never satisfied.
Once I can get Austin and I out on our own, none of what she thinks will matter. If he's being properly cared for, then that's all that matters. But until then, I don't think I deserve to be bashed for trying. I can't sit here and do nothing with my life and just wait till he graduates high school. What good will that be for Austin, or even myself? I feel as though she has constantly judged me on so many things since the day he was born. Louis can attest to that. But I don't personally feel as though I've done anything wrong in raising and caring for him. I cannot find one thing that validates her to make judgments on my role as a mother. She may disagree in that it's like she is passing judgment on me. But she never realizes how much some of her words cut. I wouldn't be feeling this way if we never had to live with my parents all of this time. But I was dealt the hand I was given, and I've just had to learn to live with it. I think the only way she's going to stop is when she sees that we're going to work through this divorced family life and come out positive, despite what she or anyone thinks or says. Proving someone wrong is the ultimate. I am now more than ever determined to make that happen for my life.
Monday, July 14, 2014
Release
I don't advertise this blog much. Not for fear of judgment. Mainly, right now anyway, for the mere fact that it's not updated as often as I'd like it to be. There's plenty for me to talk about. Some personal, some social. I have to stop using "no time" as an excuse. Even though I'm juggling two jobs and a five year old son, there's always time. If other writers can do it, so should I. And to be honest, those two jobs are not necessarily a day-to-day gig. Nonetheless, there is plenty to catch up on, but I cannot divulge everything. At least not right now, out of respect for those involved.
If you follow or friend me on Facebook, you may know that my husband Louis and I have announced our divorce plans. If this is the first you're hearing of it, then here you are. We're not going to put each other on blast for everything that culminated to this decision. Frankly because we're just tired of arguing. The bottom line is that we're no longer in love and the marriage had been in trouble for quite some time. A lot of our family and friends were none the wiser, and we grew tired of living a lie. That is the reason we decided to put it out there so publicly on Facebook so that no one would be shocked or freaking out wondering if something major happened once they started realizing Louis and I making plans to be on our own, separately.
The first major move has already happened, that being Louis moving out. He found a transitional housing program for veteran's that will assist in getting him his own place with financial assistance, and help getting a better job as well. I didn't kick him out, he chose to leave. It was for the better for him. Aside from the benefits this program can bring him, he wasn't getting along very well with my mother. And even though we thought it would've eased tensions, it somehow only made things worse. Again, I cannot get into too much detail. But part of the remaining tension is due to her attitude over certain things. My father and I can't get her to just ease back and let me handle this. It's MY divorce, not hers. And just because I'm divorcing him doesn't mean we've seen the last of him. He still has a right to see his son, and there's no reason for me to deny him that. Louis is going to be a part of my family as long as this boy is under our care.
If that wasn't enough, the other problem is Austin's reaction to all of this. I'm not gonna sugar coat things and say that he's doing fine. He's not completely fine, but he's not helpless. Of course the first week was pretty drastic for him getting used to daddy not sleeping in our room anymore. For now we've just explained to him that daddy has to stay at a house with other men who need help getting their own home. He told Austin that he's working to make a better future for all of us. It's partly true. But he won't understand the other specifics because he's just too young. This explanation is fine for now. I don't know when or how we'll explain that we won't be married anymore. That part will be the most difficult. I don't know if Austin will understand it hard enough to think he did something wrong, as most children of divorce tend to do. He'll be six this fall. Usually older children tend to think that way. But this little boy is pretty smart, so there's no telling how he'll react. We'll just have to prepare to deal with whatever happens.
For now, Austin has his good days and bad days. I'm starting to get a major taste of single motherhood having him here 100% of the time for now. It's only because Louis can't take him to stay overnight at his housing, so this is what it is until he gets his own place. And again, it's not like Louis can't take him out every so often, which he does. I'm not complaining about anything though. Things are going to take time until they get settled and into some sort of routine. As long as we remain focused on tending to Austin and making him as comfortable as possible, this transition will work itself out. My only problem is when that certain person in this house has to nitpick and make remarks about every little thing that happens. Which leads me to the conclusion that it is time for me to get out on my own. I appreciate that my parents are willing to help me for as long as I need it. But it's time for me to go. I've already begun to make moves into doing so. Again, it's something that's going to take time, but it'll be well worth it.
Getting back to that single motherhood thing.. When I do have time to myself, of course it's wonderful. I have time to relax, time to ponder, time to cry if I need to, time to watch The Real Housewives uninterrupted, and time to just enjoy. There's one less person to cook for, one less load of laundry. Yet strangely enough, it doesn't faze me. It's welcoming. I mean no offense to Louis of course, but I'm sure he feels the same way when he gets some time to himself as well. And it's not to say I'll dread having to start sharing again in the future when someone else comes along. It's just a good feeling for now. It's just being single again, no biggie. I just have an extra responsibility now with the little guy, but it's okay.
The future, what will become? One would naturally ask me if I'm looking forward to dating again. Of course I am. But it's not so that I can get so involved that I'll forget about my responsibilities. And I'm not necessarily going to be out on the prowl right away. I'm just looking forward to having some fun if someone comes along. There's no need to rush into anything serious. I think I deserve to have a little fun after spending so much time being miserable. I know I've never dated while being a mother, but I think I can learn from other women who I've seen do it to know what's right and wrong. It's not a quest to find Austin's new daddy. If I meet someone, so be it. But don't expect to see my picture up on any dating websites or adding tons of random dudes on Facebook. That's not my style. Whether or not I marry again is another question I'll leave up to destiny. I've been through enough to realize that some things just can't be expected. And I'll still be fine with it. As long as I have somebody true down the road, I'll be happy.
Maybe one day I can fill everyone in on the details that seem questionable right now. But for now I'm going to use this platform as much and best as possible to share my experiences. Who knows, maybe I can make something of that book I've always dreamed of writing one day.
If you follow or friend me on Facebook, you may know that my husband Louis and I have announced our divorce plans. If this is the first you're hearing of it, then here you are. We're not going to put each other on blast for everything that culminated to this decision. Frankly because we're just tired of arguing. The bottom line is that we're no longer in love and the marriage had been in trouble for quite some time. A lot of our family and friends were none the wiser, and we grew tired of living a lie. That is the reason we decided to put it out there so publicly on Facebook so that no one would be shocked or freaking out wondering if something major happened once they started realizing Louis and I making plans to be on our own, separately.
The first major move has already happened, that being Louis moving out. He found a transitional housing program for veteran's that will assist in getting him his own place with financial assistance, and help getting a better job as well. I didn't kick him out, he chose to leave. It was for the better for him. Aside from the benefits this program can bring him, he wasn't getting along very well with my mother. And even though we thought it would've eased tensions, it somehow only made things worse. Again, I cannot get into too much detail. But part of the remaining tension is due to her attitude over certain things. My father and I can't get her to just ease back and let me handle this. It's MY divorce, not hers. And just because I'm divorcing him doesn't mean we've seen the last of him. He still has a right to see his son, and there's no reason for me to deny him that. Louis is going to be a part of my family as long as this boy is under our care.
If that wasn't enough, the other problem is Austin's reaction to all of this. I'm not gonna sugar coat things and say that he's doing fine. He's not completely fine, but he's not helpless. Of course the first week was pretty drastic for him getting used to daddy not sleeping in our room anymore. For now we've just explained to him that daddy has to stay at a house with other men who need help getting their own home. He told Austin that he's working to make a better future for all of us. It's partly true. But he won't understand the other specifics because he's just too young. This explanation is fine for now. I don't know when or how we'll explain that we won't be married anymore. That part will be the most difficult. I don't know if Austin will understand it hard enough to think he did something wrong, as most children of divorce tend to do. He'll be six this fall. Usually older children tend to think that way. But this little boy is pretty smart, so there's no telling how he'll react. We'll just have to prepare to deal with whatever happens.
For now, Austin has his good days and bad days. I'm starting to get a major taste of single motherhood having him here 100% of the time for now. It's only because Louis can't take him to stay overnight at his housing, so this is what it is until he gets his own place. And again, it's not like Louis can't take him out every so often, which he does. I'm not complaining about anything though. Things are going to take time until they get settled and into some sort of routine. As long as we remain focused on tending to Austin and making him as comfortable as possible, this transition will work itself out. My only problem is when that certain person in this house has to nitpick and make remarks about every little thing that happens. Which leads me to the conclusion that it is time for me to get out on my own. I appreciate that my parents are willing to help me for as long as I need it. But it's time for me to go. I've already begun to make moves into doing so. Again, it's something that's going to take time, but it'll be well worth it.
Getting back to that single motherhood thing.. When I do have time to myself, of course it's wonderful. I have time to relax, time to ponder, time to cry if I need to, time to watch The Real Housewives uninterrupted, and time to just enjoy. There's one less person to cook for, one less load of laundry. Yet strangely enough, it doesn't faze me. It's welcoming. I mean no offense to Louis of course, but I'm sure he feels the same way when he gets some time to himself as well. And it's not to say I'll dread having to start sharing again in the future when someone else comes along. It's just a good feeling for now. It's just being single again, no biggie. I just have an extra responsibility now with the little guy, but it's okay.
The future, what will become? One would naturally ask me if I'm looking forward to dating again. Of course I am. But it's not so that I can get so involved that I'll forget about my responsibilities. And I'm not necessarily going to be out on the prowl right away. I'm just looking forward to having some fun if someone comes along. There's no need to rush into anything serious. I think I deserve to have a little fun after spending so much time being miserable. I know I've never dated while being a mother, but I think I can learn from other women who I've seen do it to know what's right and wrong. It's not a quest to find Austin's new daddy. If I meet someone, so be it. But don't expect to see my picture up on any dating websites or adding tons of random dudes on Facebook. That's not my style. Whether or not I marry again is another question I'll leave up to destiny. I've been through enough to realize that some things just can't be expected. And I'll still be fine with it. As long as I have somebody true down the road, I'll be happy.
Maybe one day I can fill everyone in on the details that seem questionable right now. But for now I'm going to use this platform as much and best as possible to share my experiences. Who knows, maybe I can make something of that book I've always dreamed of writing one day.
Sunday, April 6, 2014
The Showcase of The Immortals
I watched from the comfy confines of my living room couch, but I felt as though I was right there in New Orleans. WrestleMania 30 took place today from the Mercedes Benz Superdome, down on the bayou. It was a night where fans anticipated the best, the brightest, and the unexpected on this milestone for wrestling's biggest show of the year.
The preshow featured a Tag Team Fatal Four-Way for the titles. I didn't realize this wasn't going to be included on the main card, but then again I have missed the last couple of Raw episodes having been so busy. It's too bad this couldn't have been saved for the show because it was pretty decent. I'm glad they were able to retain the titles as well. Although, in a sense, it kind of felt as though The Usos defending the Tag Team titles was not as important as the other feature and title matches. I enjoy The Usos and see big things for them in the future. Speaking of big things, what about Antonio Cesaro ladies and gents? I am so glad he's finally cutting Swagger andSwagger's dad Coulter off. I remember Cesaro from his Ring Of Honor, Claudio Castagnoli days and have been anxious to see him thrive. Glad the rest of the WWE Universe is getting on board as well. Let's hear it for the Cesaro Section!
Even after 30 years, Hulkamania was still running wild as Hulk Hogan opened the show as this year's host of WrestleMania. I'm sure it was just his enthusiasm that got the better of him when he botched the cheap pop for New Orleans by referring to the dome as the Silverdome. Wrong city, bro. But funny as hell. And then the glass breaks. What?! Here comes Stone Cold Steve Austin, straight from the Broken Skull Ranch. He continues to get the crowd riled up with excitement, and ribs Hogan for his cheap pop botch. Even funnier. And then that other familiar music hits..we smell it! The Rock has come back to WrestleMania! He can't help but take his dig at Hogan's botch either, and cuts a damn fine promo paying homage to his childhood hero Hogan and his nemesis from the Attitude Era, Stone Cold. If ever there was a three-way match that never but should have happened, this is it. Hogan was also from my childhood, and Rock and Austin were my young adulthood. Three of the biggest stars of the WWE ever were getting this show off to a great start, I couldn't have written it better. And of course, what's a Stone Cold appearance without some brews? Beer bath all around!
Daniel Bryan and Triple H. Everything I expected, and yes even Bryan winning. There was internet talk of Trips screwing Bryan over as per usual. But I truly felt that if they had started off the show like that, fans would've started tossing their thousand dollar chairs and trash into the ring. Brutal action, but excellent job from both men. Hunter looked better than ever, from his entrance all the way to the pin.
The Shield handled Kane and The New Age Outlaws. And that's that. Throwaway match I think should've been for the preshow.
For the first time in WrestleMania history, we had the 30-Superstar Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal. I suppose this is a bit of Royal Rumble status in that the winner should be getting a big push. And of course, he also gets the bragging rights as the first holder of that beautiful 5-foot gold trophy. When it came down to Big Show and Cesaro as the final two, I'm sure a lot of folks figured Show to be the winner. But lo and behold, Cesaro lifted that 400+ pound man over his shoulders and tossed him over the top rope to the amazement of everyone. Well done Cesaro, you totally deserved it.
I know the whole John Cena and Bray Wyatt storyline has been intensifying lately, but unfortunately as I said, I missed the last couple of weeks. Even so, I knew this match was going to be pretty emotion driven. It may seem cheesy to the Cena haters, but I get it. Cena is the hero, especially to the kids. They can't see their hero lose it and go batshit crazy by getting overly violent on his opponent. But that's what Bray wanted. He got a little of it at the end when Cena picked up that metal chair and swung at Bray, but missed and hit Erick Rowan instead. Still, Cena wins and the kiddies still love him. He really looked like he wanted to call his momma after that match. Oh, and big ups to the crowd singing "He's Got The Whole World In His Hands" in response to Bray Wyatt. That gave me a good giggle! Bray Wyatt is nuts and he's got the goods in the ring. Those are two of the most important factors needed to be a star in this company.
And now we come to the talk of the night--The Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar. To add a little bit to my Facebook status earlier, I must say that I am still a little confused. I'm wondering if the match was set to go down the way it did. Brock looked just as shocked as everyone else. His music didn't hit right away. But then again, that all could've just been for dramatic effect. Take a look see here, but hurry before it gets taken down:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkEK1Z8M_YI&feature=youtu.be
Those crowd reactions though! I just can't.... If you missed my Facebook status, I basically said that as much as it hurt, it appears to be what Taker wanted. He has always had say as to what he wants in his WrestleMania matches and opponents. So if it was time for him to have the streak ended, whether it was an even number or not, he must have seen something in Brock Lesnar to be willing to lay down to him. Yes, Lesnar has lost the respect of some fans in his part-time status with the company as of late. Even though we don't get The Undertaker full-time either, he has good reason to take the nearly year-long break he's taken every year recently due to his health. Brock is young and in better condition than Taker, so if he wants to be taken seriously, he needs to stick around and prove it. Anyway, it is what it is, and the show goes on. The Undertaker has given us so much more to be happy about and we should be grateful for that. If this is the end of the road for him, then it's the way he wanted to go out. He will always be one of the greatest. Again, thank you Taker. If the talk of him getting into the Hall Of Fame next year in San Jose comes to fruition, I will definitely have to make the trip next April!
The wind was taken out of that place after that match, and then it was time for the Divas Championship Invitational. I'm sorry, but obviously at this point no one really cared. I felt bad for the girls having to come in after all that chaos. And then to just have AJ retain the title, even after all that hype of her potentially meeting her demise to drop it was so lame. I like a good crop of the Divas, but they need to be given a better chance at showcasing their talent. Leaving the Divas Championship on AJ after such a long stretch makes it seem as though the other ladies just don't have anything to offer. I see a good grip of them working hard to be taken seriously, namely Brie Bella, Naomi, Natalya, heck even Tamina for Christ's sake. But I guess they're just gonna have to be put on the back burner for a little while longer. I hope things are different next year. Another thing--NXT. The girls there have got some damn good things going on that we all have yet to see. I've seen some of those things, and for the sake of the women's division, they better get those girls in the spotlight by next year.
Still recovering from Taker and Brock, I now began to fear a major screwjob for Daniel Bryan in the main event with Randy Orton and Batista. The match was action-packed and intense for all three. Yeah we got a little scare there with Triple H and Stephanie interfering. But thank God almighty, Daniel Bryan made Batista tap out for the win! This really could've gone any which way, but I am very very happy for and proud of Daniel Bryan. I've been following him and watching him since the indy days in the East Coast's Ring Of Honor and Pro Wrestling Guerilla here in Southern California for the past 10 years. Just like all the other former indy stars who made it to the dance that I faithfully admired (CM Punk, e.g.), it feels like I'm watching my friends have their dreams come true. In a sense, I have. I had the privilege of meeting them in person and conversing from time to time as well. These guys sacrificed a lot to get to where they have gotten, and continue to stay humble. I believe that is one of the main reasons why Daniel Bryan has earned the mainstream respect and success. True fans of the business know someone like Daniel Bryan is what this business needs. He is an entertainer, but most importantly, a wrestler. I mean, that is what this business is supposed to be about, right? Wrestling! American Dragon, Bryan Danielson--Congratulations! And best wishes on your wedding next week to Brie Bella. A WWE Title and a bride all within a week, can't get no better.
As it goes, I get a little peeved with a few things after WrestleMania every year. But this one didn't leave very much to complain about. Hissy fits aside, it was a wonderful showing that will be talked about for years. Obviously so, as I was inspired to stop and ramble on here while my mind was fresh with emotion. I read a funny Facebook status earlier in the day that said if Daniel Bryan loses, they would boycott wrestling until Raw tomorrow night. My sentiments exactly, friend. Fortunately, we didn't have to do that tonight. And Raw starts in about 22 hours from now, so get ready!
The preshow featured a Tag Team Fatal Four-Way for the titles. I didn't realize this wasn't going to be included on the main card, but then again I have missed the last couple of Raw episodes having been so busy. It's too bad this couldn't have been saved for the show because it was pretty decent. I'm glad they were able to retain the titles as well. Although, in a sense, it kind of felt as though The Usos defending the Tag Team titles was not as important as the other feature and title matches. I enjoy The Usos and see big things for them in the future. Speaking of big things, what about Antonio Cesaro ladies and gents? I am so glad he's finally cutting Swagger and
Even after 30 years, Hulkamania was still running wild as Hulk Hogan opened the show as this year's host of WrestleMania. I'm sure it was just his enthusiasm that got the better of him when he botched the cheap pop for New Orleans by referring to the dome as the Silverdome. Wrong city, bro. But funny as hell. And then the glass breaks. What?! Here comes Stone Cold Steve Austin, straight from the Broken Skull Ranch. He continues to get the crowd riled up with excitement, and ribs Hogan for his cheap pop botch. Even funnier. And then that other familiar music hits..we smell it! The Rock has come back to WrestleMania! He can't help but take his dig at Hogan's botch either, and cuts a damn fine promo paying homage to his childhood hero Hogan and his nemesis from the Attitude Era, Stone Cold. If ever there was a three-way match that never but should have happened, this is it. Hogan was also from my childhood, and Rock and Austin were my young adulthood. Three of the biggest stars of the WWE ever were getting this show off to a great start, I couldn't have written it better. And of course, what's a Stone Cold appearance without some brews? Beer bath all around!
Daniel Bryan and Triple H. Everything I expected, and yes even Bryan winning. There was internet talk of Trips screwing Bryan over as per usual. But I truly felt that if they had started off the show like that, fans would've started tossing their thousand dollar chairs and trash into the ring. Brutal action, but excellent job from both men. Hunter looked better than ever, from his entrance all the way to the pin.
The Shield handled Kane and The New Age Outlaws. And that's that. Throwaway match I think should've been for the preshow.
For the first time in WrestleMania history, we had the 30-Superstar Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal. I suppose this is a bit of Royal Rumble status in that the winner should be getting a big push. And of course, he also gets the bragging rights as the first holder of that beautiful 5-foot gold trophy. When it came down to Big Show and Cesaro as the final two, I'm sure a lot of folks figured Show to be the winner. But lo and behold, Cesaro lifted that 400+ pound man over his shoulders and tossed him over the top rope to the amazement of everyone. Well done Cesaro, you totally deserved it.
I know the whole John Cena and Bray Wyatt storyline has been intensifying lately, but unfortunately as I said, I missed the last couple of weeks. Even so, I knew this match was going to be pretty emotion driven. It may seem cheesy to the Cena haters, but I get it. Cena is the hero, especially to the kids. They can't see their hero lose it and go batshit crazy by getting overly violent on his opponent. But that's what Bray wanted. He got a little of it at the end when Cena picked up that metal chair and swung at Bray, but missed and hit Erick Rowan instead. Still, Cena wins and the kiddies still love him. He really looked like he wanted to call his momma after that match. Oh, and big ups to the crowd singing "He's Got The Whole World In His Hands" in response to Bray Wyatt. That gave me a good giggle! Bray Wyatt is nuts and he's got the goods in the ring. Those are two of the most important factors needed to be a star in this company.
And now we come to the talk of the night--The Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar. To add a little bit to my Facebook status earlier, I must say that I am still a little confused. I'm wondering if the match was set to go down the way it did. Brock looked just as shocked as everyone else. His music didn't hit right away. But then again, that all could've just been for dramatic effect. Take a look see here, but hurry before it gets taken down:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkEK1Z8M_YI&feature=youtu.be
Those crowd reactions though! I just can't.... If you missed my Facebook status, I basically said that as much as it hurt, it appears to be what Taker wanted. He has always had say as to what he wants in his WrestleMania matches and opponents. So if it was time for him to have the streak ended, whether it was an even number or not, he must have seen something in Brock Lesnar to be willing to lay down to him. Yes, Lesnar has lost the respect of some fans in his part-time status with the company as of late. Even though we don't get The Undertaker full-time either, he has good reason to take the nearly year-long break he's taken every year recently due to his health. Brock is young and in better condition than Taker, so if he wants to be taken seriously, he needs to stick around and prove it. Anyway, it is what it is, and the show goes on. The Undertaker has given us so much more to be happy about and we should be grateful for that. If this is the end of the road for him, then it's the way he wanted to go out. He will always be one of the greatest. Again, thank you Taker. If the talk of him getting into the Hall Of Fame next year in San Jose comes to fruition, I will definitely have to make the trip next April!
The wind was taken out of that place after that match, and then it was time for the Divas Championship Invitational. I'm sorry, but obviously at this point no one really cared. I felt bad for the girls having to come in after all that chaos. And then to just have AJ retain the title, even after all that hype of her potentially meeting her demise to drop it was so lame. I like a good crop of the Divas, but they need to be given a better chance at showcasing their talent. Leaving the Divas Championship on AJ after such a long stretch makes it seem as though the other ladies just don't have anything to offer. I see a good grip of them working hard to be taken seriously, namely Brie Bella, Naomi, Natalya, heck even Tamina for Christ's sake. But I guess they're just gonna have to be put on the back burner for a little while longer. I hope things are different next year. Another thing--NXT. The girls there have got some damn good things going on that we all have yet to see. I've seen some of those things, and for the sake of the women's division, they better get those girls in the spotlight by next year.
Still recovering from Taker and Brock, I now began to fear a major screwjob for Daniel Bryan in the main event with Randy Orton and Batista. The match was action-packed and intense for all three. Yeah we got a little scare there with Triple H and Stephanie interfering. But thank God almighty, Daniel Bryan made Batista tap out for the win! This really could've gone any which way, but I am very very happy for and proud of Daniel Bryan. I've been following him and watching him since the indy days in the East Coast's Ring Of Honor and Pro Wrestling Guerilla here in Southern California for the past 10 years. Just like all the other former indy stars who made it to the dance that I faithfully admired (CM Punk, e.g.), it feels like I'm watching my friends have their dreams come true. In a sense, I have. I had the privilege of meeting them in person and conversing from time to time as well. These guys sacrificed a lot to get to where they have gotten, and continue to stay humble. I believe that is one of the main reasons why Daniel Bryan has earned the mainstream respect and success. True fans of the business know someone like Daniel Bryan is what this business needs. He is an entertainer, but most importantly, a wrestler. I mean, that is what this business is supposed to be about, right? Wrestling! American Dragon, Bryan Danielson--Congratulations! And best wishes on your wedding next week to Brie Bella. A WWE Title and a bride all within a week, can't get no better.
As it goes, I get a little peeved with a few things after WrestleMania every year. But this one didn't leave very much to complain about. Hissy fits aside, it was a wonderful showing that will be talked about for years. Obviously so, as I was inspired to stop and ramble on here while my mind was fresh with emotion. I read a funny Facebook status earlier in the day that said if Daniel Bryan loses, they would boycott wrestling until Raw tomorrow night. My sentiments exactly, friend. Fortunately, we didn't have to do that tonight. And Raw starts in about 22 hours from now, so get ready!
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
2013 Wrap-up
Well here we are. Twelve more days until 2014. Incase I either run out of time to send Christmas cards or they get sent late, here's a rundown of the year's highlights..
My family started off the new year in a bittersweet fashion. We had to leave the home we made in Norwalk of nearly 20 years abruptly. Unfortunately lost a lot or had to leave behind a lot. But thankfully another door opened in the literal nick of time here in Cypress.
The new city brought new opportunities for myself as I found a job with AEG as a Team Store Associate inside Angels Stadium. I actually also spent a couple of months at a clothing boutique called Chico's in the Shops at Rossmoor, Seal Beach. That job didn't work out so well, so I chose to leave. But I'm confident AEG will continue to provide me with opportunities and skills for something greater in the future. It's a great company, excellent management, and my co-workers are awesome. Working with AEG exposed me to working with sports fans from all over the world, and gave me the opportunity to experience working my first concert. Kenny Chesney and the No Shoes Nation Tour rocked Anaheim in July with Eric Church, Kacey Musgraves, and the Eli Young Band. I managed to work a level where I could watch some of the concert after the rush of guests buying tour merchandise calmed down. It made a new fan out of me and I can't wait to go to a concert of theirs one day. And even though I was on the clock per se, it sure didn't feel like work. I had so much fun!
As we know, the Angels did not make it to the playoffs this year. But fortunately, my last days at the stadium in September intertwined with a new job at Ulta Beauty. A new store opened at Lakewood Mall, and although I applied to be closer at the Seal Beach location, I figured this could be my way in if any opportunity arose at Seal Beach later on. The first month and a half at Ulta went very well. But lately, as the store has been open and unfortunately not doing so well at its Lakewood location, corporate has had to cut the store's budget. That means the schedule gets cut, and my position as a stock associate is one that is hit hardest. I did not work from early October until Black Friday. Even then, it was a mere four hours. No shifts scheduled since then. As much as it pains me because it's one of my favorite stores and I love everyone working there, I may have to find another side job before the baseball season starts again. Unless there's a spot in Seal Beach, I may have to leave Ulta. Because if it's this bad now, it's likely to get worse after the New Year when holiday shopping ends. Oh, how I don't want to let go of that 25% discount! Eh, we'll see what happens. In the meantime, Angels Stadium has Monster Truck and Moto X coming up for every Saturday in January and the first week of February. I've already signed up to work those events, so those should be quite interesting.
Austin began Pre-Kindergarten at Valley Christian Preschool in September, and so far is flourishing. He missed the new September 1 cut-off for Kindergarten, so he'll be one of the older Kindergarteners next year. But he's still with his little crew of Jackson, Joshua and Finn, who he's been kickin it with since last year, and even added a couple of more new buddies named Asher and Cooper. Turns out that Asher and Cooper are the sons of the Youth Pastor and Young Adults Pastor at our church, Cottonwood Church. So we've had the chance to begin bonding with their families which has made our blending into the church much more enjoyable. As far as the lil ladies are concerned, Austin certainly has not lost his touch. He still has Samantha hanging around from last year, and now he has 2 new lil ladies added to his list, Avery and McKenna who are also sisters. Play on, playa.
Getting back to the church subject, that was another place in which we spent more time getting situated with. We had been going to Light and Life Christian Fellowship in Downey while living in Norwalk. Louis personally knew Pastor Kevin there as he grew up with that church while living with his mom in Long Beach, and Pastor Kevin was at the Long Beach campus back then. So getting back to Pastor Kevin in Downey was very nice for Louis, and I had a great time getting to know him and the church as well. Everyone there was wonderful, and because it was somewhat of a small church, it made it even more so. However, once we moved to Cypress, we felt we were going to have to find a church closer to home. My father is usually the one who gives us a ride to church, and being that we're now a bit of a further distance from Downey, we didn't want to burden him with the drive. We found Cottonwood Church in Los Alamitos a short 5 minute drive just a few blocks away, and began going there in February. Granted, the size of the church is somewhat intimidating to newcomers. But everyone is very welcoming and there are so many ways to get involved in small groups or volunteering that it really doesn't feel so overwhelming after a while. Pastor Bayless Conley is absolutely wonderful, and we are so inspired by his story and his teachings. His family are just as great as well, and the connection to Austin's friend Asher continues there--Bayless is Asher's grandfather, Asher's father is Harrison Conley, the Youth Pastor. We had the opportunity to meet Bayless and his wife Janet at Austin's program for Grandparent's Day this past September at the school. It was also there when we found out that Valley Christian Preschool will have their graduation on June 6 (my 36th birthday!) at Cottonwood! We were so thrilled to hear that, very much looking forward to it. I believe that means we can invite as much friends and family as we can since Cottonwood's large auditorium can provide the space.
My mom was given the greatest opportunity she could be offered at this point in her life with a new job at Hansen and Adkins Auto Transport, just a hop-skip-jump over in Los Alamitos. No more freeway commute, more pay, and much more opportunity and benefits. It's a bit larger operation than what she experienced at her previous job, but it's nothing she can't handle. She was personally recruited by the owner of the company, which says a lot in itself. This owner was/is a client of her previous employer and he developed a very good work rapport with my mom, which is why they became so well acquainted. When she came home in August to tell us that he wanted to meet her for lunch, we just knew he was gonna offer her a job. As a matter of fact, he created a job title just for her! The company is very well off, and she's the happiest she's been at a job for a very long time. She was recently given a very generous Christmas bonus from the owner and co-owner, who she said walked to each and every office and cubicle to personally thank each employee and hand over their bonus checks. And it wasn't a quick, "Hey thanks". These guys stopped and took the time to personally acknowledge every employee. Now that's management!
In January, my dad will celebrate 44 years with Disneyland. He's still hanging in there, working hard, and I give him mad respect for that. He's had quite the experience there, and of course we are very grateful to have the advantage of Disney perks. Even after he retires, we'll still reap benefits, so we're a Disney family por vida.
Louis advanced in his classes this year and has been getting more exposure to his chosen degree in Hospitality Management. He finished out his Spring semester at Cerritos College, and moved on to Cypress College in the Summer up to the present. Cypress actually has a Hospitality Management program which Cerritos did not, so at least now he can get moving a little faster towards his degree. He's been having fun learning about the business and spending more time in the kitchen. It's always good to be exposed to all ends, as he's come to realize. I believe so too, as I told him to keep his options open and also consider Event Management. We're right next to Anaheim, total Disney country, resort heaven, the opportunities are plenty. Other than school, Louis still worked with Staff Pro this year doing security. He did the annual Long Beach Grand Prix assignment, took on an overnight shift working a rave at the San Manuel Ampitheater in October, just to highlight a couple. But he's in the market for working closer to his degree field, so if you know anyone or anywhere that's hiring, let him know.
All in all, we've had a pretty pleasant year. New experiences, new friends. Some things may not have improved like we would have liked them to. But all we can do is keep moving forward and keep looking out for those opportunities. For personal reasons, I had to take a break from my studies. But I plan to get back on that horse very soon after the New Year. The length of time until I finish is a concern for me. Yet I know it will be better for me in the long run to complete it. I have to get away from retail and plant myself in a more fulfilling environment. I know I'm meant for so much more. And again, all in all, I can't complain too much. There's still a lot to be grateful for.
It is what it is, and it was what it was.
To all of my family and friends who shared in the good times this year, love to you all and thanks for being there! To those we shared with from afar through social media, love to you all as well, and here's hoping we can get together in the New Year sometime!
My family started off the new year in a bittersweet fashion. We had to leave the home we made in Norwalk of nearly 20 years abruptly. Unfortunately lost a lot or had to leave behind a lot. But thankfully another door opened in the literal nick of time here in Cypress.
The new city brought new opportunities for myself as I found a job with AEG as a Team Store Associate inside Angels Stadium. I actually also spent a couple of months at a clothing boutique called Chico's in the Shops at Rossmoor, Seal Beach. That job didn't work out so well, so I chose to leave. But I'm confident AEG will continue to provide me with opportunities and skills for something greater in the future. It's a great company, excellent management, and my co-workers are awesome. Working with AEG exposed me to working with sports fans from all over the world, and gave me the opportunity to experience working my first concert. Kenny Chesney and the No Shoes Nation Tour rocked Anaheim in July with Eric Church, Kacey Musgraves, and the Eli Young Band. I managed to work a level where I could watch some of the concert after the rush of guests buying tour merchandise calmed down. It made a new fan out of me and I can't wait to go to a concert of theirs one day. And even though I was on the clock per se, it sure didn't feel like work. I had so much fun!
As we know, the Angels did not make it to the playoffs this year. But fortunately, my last days at the stadium in September intertwined with a new job at Ulta Beauty. A new store opened at Lakewood Mall, and although I applied to be closer at the Seal Beach location, I figured this could be my way in if any opportunity arose at Seal Beach later on. The first month and a half at Ulta went very well. But lately, as the store has been open and unfortunately not doing so well at its Lakewood location, corporate has had to cut the store's budget. That means the schedule gets cut, and my position as a stock associate is one that is hit hardest. I did not work from early October until Black Friday. Even then, it was a mere four hours. No shifts scheduled since then. As much as it pains me because it's one of my favorite stores and I love everyone working there, I may have to find another side job before the baseball season starts again. Unless there's a spot in Seal Beach, I may have to leave Ulta. Because if it's this bad now, it's likely to get worse after the New Year when holiday shopping ends. Oh, how I don't want to let go of that 25% discount! Eh, we'll see what happens. In the meantime, Angels Stadium has Monster Truck and Moto X coming up for every Saturday in January and the first week of February. I've already signed up to work those events, so those should be quite interesting.
Austin began Pre-Kindergarten at Valley Christian Preschool in September, and so far is flourishing. He missed the new September 1 cut-off for Kindergarten, so he'll be one of the older Kindergarteners next year. But he's still with his little crew of Jackson, Joshua and Finn, who he's been kickin it with since last year, and even added a couple of more new buddies named Asher and Cooper. Turns out that Asher and Cooper are the sons of the Youth Pastor and Young Adults Pastor at our church, Cottonwood Church. So we've had the chance to begin bonding with their families which has made our blending into the church much more enjoyable. As far as the lil ladies are concerned, Austin certainly has not lost his touch. He still has Samantha hanging around from last year, and now he has 2 new lil ladies added to his list, Avery and McKenna who are also sisters. Play on, playa.
Getting back to the church subject, that was another place in which we spent more time getting situated with. We had been going to Light and Life Christian Fellowship in Downey while living in Norwalk. Louis personally knew Pastor Kevin there as he grew up with that church while living with his mom in Long Beach, and Pastor Kevin was at the Long Beach campus back then. So getting back to Pastor Kevin in Downey was very nice for Louis, and I had a great time getting to know him and the church as well. Everyone there was wonderful, and because it was somewhat of a small church, it made it even more so. However, once we moved to Cypress, we felt we were going to have to find a church closer to home. My father is usually the one who gives us a ride to church, and being that we're now a bit of a further distance from Downey, we didn't want to burden him with the drive. We found Cottonwood Church in Los Alamitos a short 5 minute drive just a few blocks away, and began going there in February. Granted, the size of the church is somewhat intimidating to newcomers. But everyone is very welcoming and there are so many ways to get involved in small groups or volunteering that it really doesn't feel so overwhelming after a while. Pastor Bayless Conley is absolutely wonderful, and we are so inspired by his story and his teachings. His family are just as great as well, and the connection to Austin's friend Asher continues there--Bayless is Asher's grandfather, Asher's father is Harrison Conley, the Youth Pastor. We had the opportunity to meet Bayless and his wife Janet at Austin's program for Grandparent's Day this past September at the school. It was also there when we found out that Valley Christian Preschool will have their graduation on June 6 (my 36th birthday!) at Cottonwood! We were so thrilled to hear that, very much looking forward to it. I believe that means we can invite as much friends and family as we can since Cottonwood's large auditorium can provide the space.
My mom was given the greatest opportunity she could be offered at this point in her life with a new job at Hansen and Adkins Auto Transport, just a hop-skip-jump over in Los Alamitos. No more freeway commute, more pay, and much more opportunity and benefits. It's a bit larger operation than what she experienced at her previous job, but it's nothing she can't handle. She was personally recruited by the owner of the company, which says a lot in itself. This owner was/is a client of her previous employer and he developed a very good work rapport with my mom, which is why they became so well acquainted. When she came home in August to tell us that he wanted to meet her for lunch, we just knew he was gonna offer her a job. As a matter of fact, he created a job title just for her! The company is very well off, and she's the happiest she's been at a job for a very long time. She was recently given a very generous Christmas bonus from the owner and co-owner, who she said walked to each and every office and cubicle to personally thank each employee and hand over their bonus checks. And it wasn't a quick, "Hey thanks". These guys stopped and took the time to personally acknowledge every employee. Now that's management!
In January, my dad will celebrate 44 years with Disneyland. He's still hanging in there, working hard, and I give him mad respect for that. He's had quite the experience there, and of course we are very grateful to have the advantage of Disney perks. Even after he retires, we'll still reap benefits, so we're a Disney family por vida.
Louis advanced in his classes this year and has been getting more exposure to his chosen degree in Hospitality Management. He finished out his Spring semester at Cerritos College, and moved on to Cypress College in the Summer up to the present. Cypress actually has a Hospitality Management program which Cerritos did not, so at least now he can get moving a little faster towards his degree. He's been having fun learning about the business and spending more time in the kitchen. It's always good to be exposed to all ends, as he's come to realize. I believe so too, as I told him to keep his options open and also consider Event Management. We're right next to Anaheim, total Disney country, resort heaven, the opportunities are plenty. Other than school, Louis still worked with Staff Pro this year doing security. He did the annual Long Beach Grand Prix assignment, took on an overnight shift working a rave at the San Manuel Ampitheater in October, just to highlight a couple. But he's in the market for working closer to his degree field, so if you know anyone or anywhere that's hiring, let him know.
All in all, we've had a pretty pleasant year. New experiences, new friends. Some things may not have improved like we would have liked them to. But all we can do is keep moving forward and keep looking out for those opportunities. For personal reasons, I had to take a break from my studies. But I plan to get back on that horse very soon after the New Year. The length of time until I finish is a concern for me. Yet I know it will be better for me in the long run to complete it. I have to get away from retail and plant myself in a more fulfilling environment. I know I'm meant for so much more. And again, all in all, I can't complain too much. There's still a lot to be grateful for.
It is what it is, and it was what it was.
To all of my family and friends who shared in the good times this year, love to you all and thanks for being there! To those we shared with from afar through social media, love to you all as well, and here's hoping we can get together in the New Year sometime!
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