New Leaf

With the Fall comes new leaves, the chance to turn them over. Yes, yes, sounds very common. But there's really no other way to describe what's going on in life right now. Not just for me, but for my little family.

Austin started Kindergarten in a breeze. He was well prepared and immediately took to his new environment by making new friends and enjoying his teacher. We even signed him up for Fall Ball with the Cypress Youth Baseball league, and it turned out that many of his classmates are either on his team or in the division with him. He even found one of his old buddies from Valley Christian playing in the division as well. Everything has turned out great for him and he's adjusting quite well. There was really no worry that he'd be fine once school started up again. He loves being in school and playing sports. We're all so grateful and happy to see him like this, especially being an only child.

Louis and I finally spoke to him about what's really going on, gently of course. There was no need to explain in full detail why, who, what and where. But he understands that even though Mommy and Daddy will no longer be married, we'll still be a family and will always be here for him. He didn't ask too many questions as to whether or not someone made the other one mad, or if it was his fault. I think because he's just still so young to even comprehend what true love and a marriage is supposed to be about. He just sees Mommy and Daddy and knows that he still needs us. Even if we have to live apart, we'll still be a family.

Without getting too much into detail for personal reasons, at this time anyway, I've had some time to think about things and what's next. Louis also did his own soul-searching and continues to work on his own issues as well. It's what's best for him, and even though we're going through the technicality of legal status, we're still on good terms. He has his moments, but he's learned ways to work through them. He needs this time alone, and he's fine with that. Just like I am. Sometimes things like this happen to make someone realize what they really want out of life, or what they need. We just happened to get married at a time which we thought was okay. And then a kid came along. Hey, it doesn't have to be all bad. It doesn't have to make one feel like a failure. As long as you can own up to what's happened, accept the responsibilities at hand and move on, everything will be just fine. It really doesn't have to be the end of the world.

I've kept my mind on so many other things that have both crudely and positively distracted me. Again, something I'm willing to learn and move on from. I've spoken at length to those very close to me about what's occurred, and they have greatly helped me feel better about the future. I've made a couple of wonderful new friends who I'm excited to start spending some time with. Never expected to be joining another social network, but Tumblr has become a fun new habit for me. I'm mainly using it as a platform for my creative side, so poetry is the highlight of that profile. The holidays are coming, I'm picking up more hours at Ulta, Austin will be six (!) years old in three weeks, and the weather is finally starting to cool down! Well, with the exception of today, yesterday, and tomorrow bringing high 80s temps, but it's Southern California, what are you gonna do?  This new leaf is looking mighty fine and I'm positive it will continue to bring better times for all of us ahead.